Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

Original poster

My fiancé doesn't want kids

12 replies

womanx · 11/02/2022 23:19

I want to talk to someone I have no friends to talk to about this I up rooted my life for him and he was sweet when I first met him then he said one day I don't want children then I do then I don't then he said I will have kids for you but that feels like am forcing him into having children I have always wanted children I told him that before I met him am 24 almost 25 am ready for a baby what do I do

OP posts:

user1471604848 · 11/02/2022 23:24

You want different things, and you are young.
Split up with him, and move back to an area where you have friends/family.
Then look to date someone who has goals aligned to yours.

Original poster

womanx · 11/02/2022 23:25

@user1471604848

You want different things, and you are young. Split up with him, and move back to an area where you have friends/family. Then look to date someone who has goals aligned to yours.

Thank you so Much for talking to me

OP posts:

Choosingtochange · 12/02/2022 00:07

Please don't have children together. It's hard enough when you are in a committed happy relationship. It can break you. What you could do is go back to where you feel safe (you said you uprooted) and focus on what you want out of life. Please don't stay in a relationship that you are unsure of before bringing a baby into the world in the nicest way possible. Look at what you want first and what makes you happy x

Viviennemary · 12/02/2022 00:09

Move on. You want different things.

AtrociousCircumstance · 12/02/2022 00:13

Leave the relationship, you’re very young and have plenty of time to meet the right person who is super excited to start a family with you.

Sunbird24 · 12/02/2022 00:14

Absolutely don’t waste your time. A friend of mine spent 10 years with a man who kept changing his mind about whether he wanted kids or not, seemed he decided he might be ok with it every time she geared herself up to leave him, then dithered back the other way when she’d stayed for a while (same with getting married!). Once she did leave him she met someone else, got married and now has DC.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 12/02/2022 00:17

I had a friend whose dh had dc for her. He always had the 'You wanted this, not me' get out clause and it didn't end happily.
Find someone who loves you and wants what you want. You have years.

Blossom64265 · 12/02/2022 00:24

You are fundamentally incompatible. You have plenty of time to find a better match and build a solid partnership before starting a family.

pinkyredrose · 12/02/2022 12:55

Having read some of your other threads please don't get pregnant by this abusive piece of crap. If you do you'll never be free of him.

MNHQ

KimMumsnet · 12/02/2022 16:32

Hi, OP. We hope you don't mind but we're going to move your thread to our Relationships board now - you might get some further support there.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 12/02/2022 16:38

Go and read your other threads.

Then ask yourself if it would be fair on a child to bring them into the world via this relationship dynamic.

Or if it would be very selfish to do so because the relationship is clearly unhealthy and unstable.

girlmom21 · 12/02/2022 16:40

Don't let him string you along. Don't waste your time on someone you're not compatible with. He'll never be an equal parent. He'll use things against you.

Flip