Posting in the hope it might give others the confidence to do the same.
I have been unhappy in my marriage for years. Low level emotional abuse which I resisted to the best of my ability but found exhausting. I thought that there was no other option but to wait until the dc were 18 to leave. Looking back now I can’t quite understand why I felt like this, perhaps the thought of being a single mum was too overwhelming, I thought I needed to be around to protect them from his emotionally abusive behaviour.
And then I had an epiphany. There was absolutely no reason why I couldn’t leave now. Kids are old enough that they can choose if they want to see him or not. They are much easier to look after now than when they were small and I would manage no problem on my own.
I felt a mixture of elation and relief when I realised I could leave.
That was 6 months ago.
I spent 2 months getting my ducks in a row
Next 4 months living in the same house which oscillated between stbxh being really nice/lovebombing then sulking and shouting. Although instead of having to put up with the latter, I just started walking out the room or ignoring him if he started.
It’s not been an easy 6 months at all, but now I’m finally free and it has been so worth it. No more treading on eggshells. Coming home from work wondering what I’m coming in to. Spending my day off sitting in my car to avoid being in the house on my own with him. Comforting the kids after one of his outbursts. Never again.
So tonight I am in my own new house delighted to be a single mum and I wanted to thoroughly recommend it to anyone who is thinking about feeling the fear and doing it anyway
About half way through the process I discovered munsnet and it has been an invaluable help to me, thanks to you all 💐