AIBU

[train4yog]

I am SAHM. With different circumstances falling in to place- one of them-having DC very late, I have fallen into a trap of SAHM and can't find a good paying job. I am fast approaching 50. I do everything at home. He hasn't been food-shopping for over a decade, doesn't know any of DC's day-to-day activities, gets everything done for him, etc.
Last night I was on the sofa, watching TV when he came in and told me we needed to print and sign a document. I pointed out to a printer and asked him to plug it in. He hit the roof, as he 'has been working all day' and I was 'sitting all day at home'. I just can't believe his attitude! I know I am not earning (well, I actually have my little business, which brings me around £100pw and sometimes more, but I spend it on family stuff) and can not find 10-2 job, as for various reasons, DC's have to be driven and collected from 2 different schools- by me. 1 Dc is still in primary, 2dc just started Secondary. Husband works hard, I give him that, but he 'only' does his job, nothing at home. Absolutely nothing.
I just can't believe what has happened yesterday and I am wondering where do I go from here.
Don't tell me to LTB, as I have no income to speak off at the moment. We do have joint mortgage.

I’d find a calm moment and put to him everything you do in a 16 hour day 7 days a week compared to him working an 8 hour day and suggest that if he thinks you have lots of time to sit around then he do 50:50 of everything at weekends

He does need to apologise.
He needs to spend a week in your life, this is always eye opening for those who believe being the SAHP is the easier option.

I just can't believe what has happened yesterday

I literally rolled my eyes at this. I'm sorry for you, but you have fallen into a trap that thousands of other women are posting about daily.

Does your husband not appreciate all you do for him, your kids and the house? If not, how can you be surprised he's suddenly reacted like this? My dad was constantly praising my mum and all she did for us all (SAHM).

I am honestly baffled at the women who just quietly do EVERYTHING and accept that their partners don't realise or appreciate it all. Find your voice and demand some respect and appreciation.

Natty13 , I was taken aback as I have not realised he had these feelings. We are married 15y, I was working for first few, but not after our dc2 was born. I can't say we are praising each other for doing what we do, but I really thought this is just a normal life- he is earning, I do look after everything at home. Now it made me think what would happen if I have found myself a job? Will he expect me to do everything at home, too?
His involvement (or the lack of) would be illustrated in this example: I told him one of the DCs forgot to take specific item into a school and I had to drive back there to hand it in. My (D)H asked what this item was for, as he has never even heard of it. Yet, at the beginning of a school year, I had to find what this item was and then go to special shop and buy it! I do all life-admin 100% all the time.
I know this is the story repeated all the time IRL and on MN, but I am really not sure what to say to him now. I don't feel I can lecture 46yo man on what he needs to think about SAHM. Honestly, I am still shocked.
We have been under a lot of pressure lately, as new house purchase got delayed (not our fault), and, although, it's still going forward, it's been additional 2 months and a lot ££££ extra. We are a bit frazzled by it all, to say the least. Maybe, it's the pressure which got to him?
Still, he has no right to speak to me like this. And I don't know what to do, except to cut his brains out and rewire his thinking.