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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

"Bad boy report"

21 replies

leopardprintprincess · 09/02/2022 11:20

I've started seeing someone and (as you do) I googled his name.
It came up with this "bad boy report" from about 10 years ago - it's basically a girl saying she got chatted to him online, he told her he loved her, they sexted etc and then she found out he had a girlfriend.
I questioned him and he said it's from 10 years ago, he was stupid and it was a mistake.
Would it bother you? Or would you forget about it?

OP posts:

Justcallmebebes · 09/02/2022 11:34

If he was young 10 years ago - late teens/early twenties then I may overlook it but I would be cautious but it would probably give me the ick.

If he was older, i.e. 30's/40's or above then I'd dump his arrogant, immature arse

Original poster

leopardprintprincess · 09/02/2022 11:41

Yeah I think he was about 19/20

OP posts:

rundown30 · 09/02/2022 11:44

Agree with the PP. seeing as he was fairly young I'd put it down to young ignorance but I would definitely be wary for a while.

I want to say though that the fact he admitted it and didn't jump on the defence is a good sign. I feel like if he was still like that, he would have got defensive or shut it down.

Do you see this as a serious relationship with potential? Have you chatted to him about his past relationships?

KylieKoKo · 09/02/2022 11:54

I don't think I would want to judged on the way I conducted myself as a teenager!

Pinkbonbon · 09/02/2022 16:42

Hmm...tbf though, I'd like to think I had moral fibre even as a teen. Sure I did stupid things but I never cheated on my partner, because I wasn't a fucking wanker. And if you're a wanker at 20, chances are it'll continue.

Tbf though, it's good that he admitted it and didn't say she was lying or anything.

I'd proceed with caution. Look out for love bombing behaviour. Or any other red flags.

Dillydollydingdong · 09/02/2022 16:46

It's hardly a hanging offence, is it?

Blushinggerbil · 09/02/2022 16:48

Bad boy report? You learn something new everyday!

Louisianagumbo · 09/02/2022 16:52

19 yo cheats on girlfriend. Surely not. 😲 Never heard the like before.

BigFatLiar · 09/02/2022 16:53

When he was younger he was seeing two girls at the same time? Shock horror, half the girls in the office were doing that when I was younger.

Xztop · 09/02/2022 17:16

Best get it out of his system while he was young! I'm glad there was no Internet when I was a teenager is all I can say.

In answer to your question, no it wouldn't bother me. People grow up and change.

Blushinggerbil · 09/02/2022 18:33

I understand about DV but isn’t this report thing a bit intrusive? I was a right plonker when I was 19, heavens forbid anyone judged me on it now at 40. 😱

SleepingStandingUp · 09/02/2022 18:34

Given he was a teen and is now av adult, no. If he's been 40, yes

BABAHOTEL · 09/02/2022 18:35

19 year old acts stupidly! Get rid, he'll obviously be like that for life!

SleepingStandingUp · 09/02/2022 18:37

Sure I did stupid things but I never cheated on my partner, because I wasn't a fucking wanker. And if you're a wanker at 20, chances are it'll continue
Lots of teens / early twenties cheat. They're immature, finding themselves, don't know how to handle situations. Doesn't mean they're cheating wankers for life. I cheated on my ex because I was desperately unhappy, still hung up on my ex (with whom I cheated), didn't know how to get what I needed, didn't want to make the wrong decision. I've never cheated on anyone since, never even contemplated it in my 10 year relationship. I don't think I'm unusual

DatingDinosaur · 09/02/2022 19:33

I would forget about it. It’s in the past.

It’s how he is now, with you, that matters. Trust your gut with that. And if you can’t, then he’s not the right guy for you.

MadMadMadamMim · 09/02/2022 19:43

I wouldn't judge someone on their teenage behaviour. I'd hate to be judged on mine. I also wouldn't judge anyone on someone else's opinion of them.

However, if I were him I'd probably be dumping you. You are presumably an adult and have googled him, found an ex girlfriend's comment from a decade ago and are questioning him about it.

My red flags would be raised by your behaviour, if I'm honest.

Lou98 · 09/02/2022 19:46

Personally unless he had a habit for cheating that you know of (other than this), I wouldn't hold it against him. He was 19/20, it was 10 years ago and frankly isn't any of your business. Don't go snooping if you don't want to see what you find.

If you've already now got no trust for him then I wouldn't carry on the relationship because it isn't fair to either of you to go in to a relationship with that mindset

Lou98 · 09/02/2022 19:46

@MadMadMadamMim

I wouldn't judge someone on their teenage behaviour. I'd hate to be judged on mine. I also wouldn't judge anyone on someone else's opinion of them.

However, if I were him I'd probably be dumping you. You are presumably an adult and have googled him, found an ex girlfriend's comment from a decade ago and are questioning him about it.

My red flags would be raised by your behaviour, if I'm honest.

This^

anotherdaynotanotherdollar · 09/02/2022 20:31

What the hell is a bad boy report??

Original poster

leopardprintprincess · 09/02/2022 22:02

Thanks all!

It's this random website

badboyreport.kr/

OP posts:

ANameChangeAgain · 09/02/2022 22:05

I think I would be running for the hills if I were him, you are waving a huge red flag here @leopardprintprincess!

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