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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

truth about sex after kids

1 reply

cowsaysmoo · 09/02/2022 08:22

Hello everyone, I was hoping for some advise/support/information.
Internet is full of 'we have sex five times a week after being married X years' which makes me really depressed.
Me and my partner are together for nearly six years and at at the beginning we had wonderful sex life.
Given that we are in our fourties now, we decided to have children quite early. After a miscarriage, we now have 3yo and 15months old children.
Before the miscarriage, my partner had an accident, he had broken leg and since that we really struggle with having sex. We do cuddles and kisses and we do love each other but for some reason we don't have much sex. Since getting pregnant with our second, we maybe had sex ten times.
I didn't feel much like having sex whilst breast feeding but now I do but I think my husband is not as interested in it anymore. We spoke about it and we both said we wanted to have sex but somehow it doesn't happen.
We have a quite stressful period in our lives with two kids, both of us work plus the pandemic.
I was wondering if anyone else has/had similar situation and how you overcame it if you did. I will be grateful for any advise or just hearing that it's not abnormal.
Thank you x

OP posts:
WineThenMisletoe · 09/02/2022 08:44

You honestly have nothing to worry about. It is not surprising that neither of you feel like sex given the stress of work, kids, pandemic etc. The huge plus here is that you are both on the same page and that you are talking about it without any animosity from either party.

As for the sex 5 times a week people then plain and simple its not true. Lots of Insta lives fall apart on close inspection. One of my favourite sayings 'empty vessels make most sound'.

Things will improve just give it time and keep talking

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