Pregnant - now what

[Startingagain10]

I had been with my ex for a year or so and then we split . We were arguing lots. He has two children and I have none. The week after we split I found I was pregnant, a shock as I have known fertility Issues .
He does not want to be with me and I am also facing redundancy / homelessness ( when my lease ends). He does not have a lot of money left over and would barely afford maintenance.

I have always wanted a baby, but in these circumstances I am terrified . I am not sure whether I can keep the baby and be on my own given my circumstances . My family support would be an half and a half drive away , I have very little family. He would be there some what , but it will be on his terms.
Can anyone give any advice ?

You're not currently in a stable position to raise a child.
If you decide to keep it, id strongly recommend getting a job where your family are but if you're going to do it you need to do it fast - while you'll still be eligible for SMP.

He would have to afford maintenance - but the fact he has other children means you're entitled to less.
If he moves in with someone else with children at any point you'll be entitled to even less again.

I would keep it, move back near your parents and expect nothing from him. You can do it! Good luck!

I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. I'd be very tempted to terminate the pregnancy and move on. There will be better things ahead for you if you're single with no children.

Pregnancy, redundancy and homelessness are a pretty terrifying prospect all at the same time. How old are you OP? If this is likely your one and only chance to have a child (and by that I mean you're 37+) and you can't even imagine the future without a DC in it, then I'd move back to where you have family support and get a new job that will pay for housing and provide maternity pay, if that is at all possible. If you're still young and besides where your family live there are no opportunities then I agree with the posters who say this is not the time to have a baby.

Congratulations! I just wanted to say that jobs, housing and boyfriends can, pretty much, be found and changed to suit you. A pregnancy, especially unexpectedly against the odds, might be your one chance.
Fingers crossed for you xx

It’s a personal choice.
It the situation you outline it likely wouldn’t be something I would go ahead with (and I say that as a woman who is 36 weeks pregnant and about to give birth themselves)

However only you know what’s right for you. I agree that she would be a factor (there is a huge difference in 25 vs 39 for example)

I would seek impartial counselling urgently to try and get clarity.

Age not she*

Well cats yes but let’s no forget their another entity.

Keep it if you ever wanted to have children and you are over 30. Getting pregnant is a miracle, it may not happen again. You can do it without a partner, just be very strategic about it. Check all the benefits you are entitled to first. Check Single parent support resources - Gingerbread,etc. Move closer to your family if possible . Your friends can be your support network too. I have been in similar predicament, with absolutely no family support, financial difficulties and broken heart, it worked out at the end and keeping a child was the best decision of my life. We are a very happy family unit. I call my ex a sperm donor , as that's the only thing he contributed. I wish you to overcome all the difficulties and make the right decision for yourself.

If you have fertility issues and want a baby I would prioritise that - keep the baby and make it work. Spend every minute of the day applying for jobs, look at completing further studies, get yourself in the best position to get a new home. Imagine terminating and then failing to become pregnant again - would you be able to cope knowing that you ended your chance of having a child?

Your fertility issues are as bad as you though if you get pregnant without trying.
If you can get pregnant at all it's highly likely it would happen again. In your situation I wouldn't, not with all those struggles but that has to be your choice, I can understand though if it's a first pregnancy you may feel maternal but for practical reasons, you have to know how you're going to provide for the child.

I agree with @iwishu

• if you got pregnant whilst using contraception then you don't have fertility issues - in fact you have the opposite!