Boyfriend staying over! I’m 50!!

[GremlinDolphin4]

Just need some wise words as getting myself in a tizz!

I’ve been divorced 3 years and just before Xmas started a relationship with a wonderful man. My dcs knew him before and like him and are happy I have a partner although I think it’s wierder for my dd17 as she still has sporadic contact with my exh.

We have having a small party at the weekend and I would like him I stay over but I don’t know if that’s acceptable, unreasonable, perfectly fine, how to bring it up with dd etc?

I’m usually quite rational and calm about things but not this - please help me out lovely wise people!!

I think it’s fine as long as your dd17 is happy with it..... it is her home after all.

Have a great night 😊

If it was just since Xmas, I'd say it's way too soon, however, it's probably a bit different as they already knew him. They haven't known him as you and he together though for very long, so on that basis I'd say, it would be maybe ok to have him day if he's in another room and it's out of convenience rather than any other reason.

Stay not day

It depends on your 17 year old. She may think you're well past that sort of thing and be embarrassed.

Or she might say, 'you go for it mum'.

Don't make a big deal of it. Just say, "Oh btw Man will be staying over on Saturday night."

My daughter is 15. I started seeing someone I'd known for a while and who she liked. I pretty much said what HollowTalk suggested and she was fine with it.

Tbh, she's more bothered at the thought of our time together being impacted by having him around all day the following day than him stopping overnight. She's not stupid, she knows what happens but it was fine.

He's only stayed over once so far.

I think the fact that you are in a tizz about it shows that either you are not ready, or you sense your dd isn't.

@FloraPotts

I think the fact that you are in a tizz about it shows that either you are not ready, or you sense your dd isn't.

I don't know what thread you're eating but she hardly sounds 'in a tizz' to me. She sounds like someone who is thinking about something and garnering other peoples opinions to make sure she's not missing anything.

Hardly a tizz...

OK I see she used the words tizz

OP, not worth getting in a tizz about!

Er, I am simply responding to the first line of the op AlwaysColdTea ...

... Just need some wise words as getting myself in a tizz!

X posts AlwaysColdTea

Thank you for your responses, they help! I never imagined I’d be dating again at this age and at the same time as navigating teenagers dating too - it’s quite a lot! Xxx

Talk to your daughter and ask her how she’d feel if he was to stay over.

A conversation along the lines of...BF cannot drive and drive, so he is stopping here. Please supply robe etc so there are no half dressed embarrassing meetings on the run to the bathroom...get BF to leave the next day so teenager daughter does not perceive him to be hanging about or moving in.

GremlinDolphin4 My young adult children were Ok with my boyfriend staying over - especially when I commented that we would abide by the same rules as they did - no sex when anyone else is in the house and no wandering round naked............!! 🤣🤣 Their expressions were priceless !!

Blobby10 I just spat out my tea - that’s brilliant!

Of course, you are entitled to a life. My kids were a little older and a bit weirded out by it at first but now like dp

Brilliant @blobby10