How soon is too soon to date again?

[Redberries85]

Hello!

I came out of a 6 year relationship at the start of November. We weren’t physical for a while before the break-up anyway and had become more like room mates.

I decided, out of curiosity, to check out fb dating a few days ago and I’m having some nice chats with a couple of guys. Do you think it’s too soon? I’m just wanting some light dating and a bit of fun back in my life etc. Have joined lots of hobby groups and trying to retrain career wise, so have blossomed from the break-up.

I’m also going to counselling to ensure I don’t fall into the same patterns of meeting the wrong kind of people as well as other stuff I’m working on.

How soon is too soon? When did other people start dating again?

Thanks!

Only you can decide that - after a fairly long term relationship (4 years) I felt ready after a couple of months but I'd emotionally checked out a long time previously. After a marriage that lasted 2 years I wasn't ready for about 8 years as the effect was so long lasting.

The counselling will hopefully make clear to you that you need to trust your intuition regarding what's right for you. This would also help you to understand that most of us meet 'the wrong kind of people'; it's how we deal with them (ie using our intuition to spot when they make us uncomfortable, and subsequently discarding them) that's different, rather than there being some kind of skill in 'not meeting the wrong kind of people'.

Only you can say when is too soon for you. Do what you feel. If you date someone and you love every minute, keep dating them. If you date someone and you feel a bit crappy, leave them behind. It's not necessarily about timing. The right person will feel right, whether they are for light hearted dating, or something more serious. And if you're with someone and it feels right, you'll be protecting yourself from 'wrong sorts'

No that sounds fine to me and that’s coming from someone whose been single for too long (5 years 😣 )

Personally ...

I think if you still are processing feelings for your ex, then it's too soon.

But, I may be in the minority

My timescale is similar to yours and I joined an OLD site for the first time in Dec just really to get an idea what’s out there, taking it very slow. I don’t think it’s too soon as long as you don’t jump in to anything too fast. Not met a match as yet but it’s been entertaining if nothing else! Was single for several years before my last relationship and think it would be easy to fall back into that and although nothing wrong with being on your own I do like being in a couple so making an effort 😊

I don’t think there is such a thing as “how soon is too soon”.

You’ve said yourself, you don’t want anything heavy, and that is absolutely fine, and a lovely, gentle way to approach getting back into dating again. Dating doesn’t have to be The Search For The One if you don’t want it to be.

When your heart decides you’re ready to fall in love again, you will.

@spotcheck

Personally ...

I think if you still are processing feelings for your ex, then it's too soon.

But, I may be in the minority

I agree with this.