Why would 3.5 year old constantly say he misses me???

[taylormaid1]

Son always saying he misses me - he is with me all of the time!!! Only at nursery 2 mornings a week..

He doesn't like being with anyone else - it's really heavy on me and my husband feels rejected..

He doesn't even like staying with his nana..

Help!

I love him so so much but feel claustrophobic with it

I wouldn't dwell on it too much - Is he saying it when you pick him up from nursery? Could you play it down and say something like "well I missed you too, lets go home and do a jigsaw now" - what I mean is, acknowledge it and then change the subject.

I don't think dwelling on it will help.

My daughter is the same i think if she could crawl back into my womb she would. Velco child i call her. She is 4 and attends nursery 3 hours every morning. I would say she is getting better when its on her terms, she enjoys nursery so is happy to go. But if i want to go anywhere without her at the weekend for instance she can become upset and will be asking for me. Sorry no advice just i know how you feel xx

I feel like I've done something wrong or been too attached with him??

He needs time with others - I love being with him but I need me time and space on the rare occasion

My two are my shadows too. Even my DS 8 said he felt tearful at pick up because he missed me and DH today. We are all very close, spend a lot of time together. But as they have got older they are becoming more independent. Can drop at parties & stay at GPs overnight etc.

What we do/ did is I kiss the palm of their hand and they squeeze it shut into a fist. And say Mummy loves you all the time and even when we are not together, you have my love and kiss in the palm of your hand. Squeeze it and you'll feel me right there. I miss you too, but am never far away and it's not long till we see each other again. Big smiles.

It has worked and if they ever feel bit lonely the squeeze their hand! My Mum did it for me too

Kids that age are manipulative. They will use the exact words they need to make you do something for them. ‘Mummy I miss you’ seems to be yours.

It’s normal. And a phase

@DirtyDancing I love this 🙏❤️ very sweet

My eldest dd(32) reminded me recently, I used to use the back of her hand to blot my lipstick. I would tell her that if she wanted a kiss from mummy while at school, it was right there.
Perhaps you could try this.

My son was like this, he hated the two nursery mornings l tried to send him to, so l kept him home until he started school.by then he was fine..but before 5 he just used to cry and be so unhappy,.... now he is a strapping 14 year old who would rather be in his room...oh how l miss those early days.

BTW l think it is very harsh to force him away from you, and l think Ozanj is so very wrong...

My 7 year old is still like this. He just loves his mommy !! Nothing wrong with that, embrace it cause in ten years I'll bet he won't be saying it much 😆

People around me are saying that it's due to separation issues :/

Maybe lockdown, he's been with me so much x

People like to criticise - ignore them!

My eldest is still my little shadow, always telling me how much they miss me. It’s just their personality.

My youngest is a little less clingy, they can be sweet and affectionate but it is very much on their terms. Most of the time they are at their happiest shut away in their own world.

I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

My 3.5 year old is the same. So clingy even though she's always gone to nursery/grandparents etc. I assume its a phase (although her brothers weren't like it) and come 14 she won't want to be seen with me

@taylormaid1 they are just children. So young. All kids are different. Why society sees it as a bad thing for them to miss someone I'll never understand. Keep doing what you are doing & being a wonderful parent

My ds 7 hates sleeping out. Prob 3 times ever.
Never goes anywhere with anyone.

Much prefers being with us all the time. A real home body!!

I'm finding unless kids have lots of confidence, loads of friends and do every activity people makes comments on the being shy/sensitive and imply this is a negative thing :/ really sad introverts are not praised more..

My own family and people around me make too many comments I need to shut down more

But also my question is how do I manage as it does become overwhelming at times - i don't have many outlets, guess I need to find one..

Is he quite anxious generally? Is he just saying the words or is he acting on them? How are drop offs?

I have a lockdown toddler who is the opposite- will happily walk off with complete strangers. Never spent a night away from me or organised childcare until after he was 2. I have heard lots of people blame lockdown for stuff like this but I think there have always been some children who are just naturally more clingy or insecure and need more time to become independent.

@JustWonderingIfYou he is very anxious socially and just in general with new people/places.. he gets sore tummy too..

Drops offs are not great, many tears and asking for mummy all day from what I'm told :///

My youngest is like this - separation anxiety was through the roof. At one point he was trying to tunnel into my armpit crying out "I need to be closer to you!". It hit peak when he was 3 and dragged on thanks to global pandemic

He's 5 now. It's a LOT easier these days but it still can be quite intense. It gets stronger when he is tired or emotional.

As an introvert myself, it has been really hard on me. I need space. When it became overwhelming, I'd hide in the bathroom or sneak into the back garden bundled up, just to get some space.

I haven't got any tips for you but some hope - it does get better with time x