I cant do this any more

[Surlyburd]

I just cant do this any more. My dh has gone missing again. He does this all the time, its ususlly cocaine related, slthough he has been diagnosed with cyclothemua.
We woke up as normal this morning, went to work, and i got a messge from his hr dept to say he hadnt turned up yo work. So, hes done it to me again.
I just cannot do this any more. The lies, the broken promises, the worry, the heartbreak.
We have 2 kids, i know its over. I dont knkw how we will cope

I'm sorry OP. Didn't want to read and run. I have no concrete advice except to say that the worry, uncertainty, walking on eggshells you are already doing, plus the reality that you are most likely doing all the work (emotionally, physically, mentally) means that once this relationship is over, you will actually be in a better place.

You know you have to end it.

Triffid, thank you for replying. It is ended, you are right. Heartbreaking though

What usually happens? Will he be gone for long? Can you afford to support yourself and the kids?

I cant really support me and the kids, i work around 30hrs pw so could maybe pick up mor hours. He goes out til he feels like voming home , sometimes 1 day, sometimes 3, all the while not answering the phone, and leaving me to look after kids, house and dog. I have a heart confition, and he started all of this not long after i had been in hospital for 10 days.
I think he vouldnt cope with my ilness, even though im fine with meds now

Sorry that you’re going through this OP. My ex used to do this and it used to send my anxiety through the roof, he would be texting as normal asking what was for tea etc and then just ghost me for anything from 12hours to 3 days. I never knew where he was and he didn’t want to discuss it after. I lived like that for 2 years and the final straw came when I came home from work early once and there was drug paraphernalia all over the house, this was a man who had been begging me to have a child with him. I had to leave…he was never going to change
How old are your children?

This is tough.

Has he had any treatment for his addiction?

He will not change.
End it, release yourself and get your kids away from it.

My dh has had several admissions to cardio and still isn’t right after 3 years due to covid stopping him get the ITU bed he needs post op,

Despite this I haven’t taken drugs or vanished on him. Noise could blame you for leaving in these circumstances.

He went thru a service called change grow live and had meetings online for his addiction. You are right , he will never change. Weve been together 24 years, our children are 13 and 9 x