Desperately seeking help from anyone with my current (two years now) situation….
Husband and I separated two years ago, Jan 2020. He was controlling and abusive and he moved out the family home. He was also a mid stages alcoholic which has got progressively worse. We have two children 12 and 10.
He is not open to negotiation, he is still abusive and his opinion is that I should get as little as possible. He pays half the mortgage and child maintenance. He is on a six figure salary and has a £500k pension pot. I earn around £45k a year.
During our separation he wasn’t paying me enough money to pay the bills as I was on furlough - my solicitor told me to put it on credit cards and we would sort it out in our financial settlement later on.
Since he wouldn’t agree anything or even have a civilised conversation, I took him to court for a financial order, he took months to reply, months to return any documents - all whilst the debts continued to pile up. All part of his controlling nature to drag things out as long as possible.
In the end he went to rehab and the whole process was stopped. That was last December. He started drinking as soon as he came out of rehab. He’s not seeing his children because he drove them drunk and is also abusive and manipulative to the older one.
He continues to pay me child maintenance and half the mortgage (normally late) but it isn’t enough to pay all the utilities and debt I’ve accrued. We also need childcare that he’s refusing to pay as says he gives child maintenance.
He is a controlling, abusive bully and I want him out of my life for good. However, I have no idea what to do or where to turn. The abuse is now so bad the police have been involved and I’ve applied for a non molestation order. He’s blocked from all contact.
We have approx £150k equity in our home and I now have £50k debt. If we sell, which he won’t even agree to, even if I got all the equity that won’t buy me very much. I can’t take him back to court as I can’t afford the legal fees. I’m depressed and miserable as I am a do-er by nature but feel I have no options available to me. He doesn’t reply to anything, he makes no movement with his solicitor.
Can someone please help or advise what I can legally do to end this nightmare?