Can’t get my head around spouse.

[HelpWendy]

As I’ve posted lots some of you will know I’ve a rocky marriage. Split looming but no practical plans in place, and effort from husband to flex himself in any way.

This evening something small happened but added to the list of reasons I simply cannot understand my husband.

Kids turn off all the lights and had a little disco this evening, two young children. He sat on the sofa when I played music off my phone. After a while my husband sculked out of the room. When we were finished I ask why he left when the kids were having fun and wanting us to take part. His response wag ‘I thought you would have more fun with them without me’.

I’m baffled, shows that nothing is going to change. Is it a chronic lack of confidence, spinelessness? Or am I a monster?

Depends really. With that sort of stuff sometimes you might just not be feeling up for it, or it's not so much his thing? Maybe being he was being a bit of a humbug but I don't think that alone makes him a dick. But neither are you!

It was children playing which is heart warming but also a tad annoying if it extends into the evening. And to be honest sounds like a bit of a performance. Ok for early in the day but not as the day is winding down.

Some people don’t have the energy to do children’s play all day.

Yes it totally was a performance, just 5 minutes of fun for them with their parents together. That is not a bad or annoying thing.

It is a symptom of a bigger problem. My husband doesn’t do fun, doesn’t laugh out loud, doesn’t initiate fun, is either passive or avoidant or robotic.

I guess when the kids were so innocently and in such a well behaved way, just have a few minutes of fun, his defeatist attitude was ill leave you too it, instead of stretching himself for 5 minutes. He had. 2.5 hour nap this afternoon btw so he wasn’t exhausted. I find it depressing.