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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being totally ridiculous?

7 replies

Roundthetwistyroad · 06/02/2022 18:31

Had a very sporadic but intense FWB situation for over 2 years. Did not meet much and long gaps but the sparks flew when we did. He was younger and looking to settle down really. I was at different stage.

After a 6 month gap I contacted him and he told me he was seeing someone casually but would still like to meet. Fireworks in bed again and we started flirty texts and a bit of contact.

Another short gap of a month and then he initiated contact (unusually, it was usually me who initiated) asking to see me. We started planning a night of passion, talking about what we were going to get up to etc etc. I was really looking forward to it. He then cancelled a couple of days before and I felt completely deflated and disappointed. I did not even reply to his text and I blocked his number.

I reckon things are getting a bit more serious with the woman he is seeing and he was looking for a final fling but then could not go through with it or went off the idea.

I honestly honestly do not want a relationship with him and I am not super hurt because I knew what the deal was but I hate things that don't end on good terms. I want to send him a message wishing him all the best and telling him what a great time I had with him. I think I looked really petty by not even replying to his text and I hate that he might think I am ill mannered. He always treated me respectfully.

Am I being totally ridiculous? Am I kidding myself - I just want some continued contact don't I? Even if I did want to wish him well the moment has passed hasn't it? It was about 3 weeks ago now.

Stay blocked and stay silent?

OP posts:
HulaChick · 06/02/2022 18:47

It's never too late to wish someone well. I'd send him a message to say just that and nothing else. If you're not looking for a relationship with him anyway, then you've nothing to lose by doing that.

Lolabray · 06/02/2022 18:56

Leave him be: the boat has sailed x

ihatethecold · 06/02/2022 18:57

Oh god. Don’t message now.

Move on.

Aquamarine1029 · 06/02/2022 18:58

Just leave it alone. Honestly.

Hrpuffnstuff1 · 06/02/2022 19:01

😂😂😂
I have an old Fwb who pops up every so often.
Last time she messaged Mrs Hr was using my phone.

Pegasussnail · 06/02/2022 19:03

Leave it be - 100 percent

Snoopfroggyfrogg · 06/02/2022 19:32

If you think he's in a relationship I would probably leave it. His gf probably won't want to know now what happened before they were exclusive.

To be honest, it was a very sporadic, on and off thing that you had at least at the end, and he cancelled at short notice on you. I'm sure there are no hard feelings.

If you see him around, say hello, but I would leave it here otherwise.

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