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Original poster

Would you forgive your partner for…?

19 replies

Layla9797 · 06/02/2022 14:11

Would you forgive your partner if they admitted they would’ve had sex with someone else during an argument you had?

Me and my partner had a fallen out and didn’t talk for a few days. I later found out he was on Instagram asking girls for sex. (Yeah I know, that would’ve done it for me too)

His excuse was obviously because we were not talking and he felt I was doing the same and he was trying to forget me. I asked him if he had sex with someone else and he said no, but I’ll be honest with you, if I was given the opportunity I would’ve done it. I suppose I appreciate his honesty but at the same time I’m burning inside because I would not have been able to do that with someone else, even if we broke up, certainly not right away.

Any advice please? Thank you

OP posts:
FranklySonImTheGaffer · 06/02/2022 14:15

Run for the hills. Either he's telling you he wants to look elsewhere and will end up doing so but finding a way to blame you, he's deliberately doing and saying things with the intention to hurt you or this is designed to make you so scared he'll look elsewhere that you stop arguing with him altogether.
None of those reasons are good and they clearly show he isn't someone to build a life with or rely on.
I'd end it.

Blanca87 · 06/02/2022 14:16

Dump him.

frazzledasarock · 06/02/2022 14:18

I’d consider the relationship over.

I’ve never had an argument with DH and thought I know I’ll go on social media and try and get laid with someone else.

DatingDinosaur · 06/02/2022 14:20

So you had a row and fell out for a few days – you’d not broke up?

If that was the case I wouldn’t accept / forgive him. It would tell me all I need to know about what he thought of our relationship.

If you had broke up for those couple of days I’d see it as a knee-jerk reaction and it being him trying to prove to himself he’s still “got it”.

But PMSL that he didn’t get any takers Grin Grin

Tulips21 · 06/02/2022 14:20

Everytime you have even the slightest disagreement, will this be his response? I wouldnt trust him again and therefore, the Relationship is done!

Fairylightsongs · 06/02/2022 14:22

Yeah I know, that would’ve done it for me too

It doesn’t seem to have done?

isthismylifenow · 06/02/2022 14:24

No.

So he would have slept with someone else, except he couldn't find anyone else to sleep with.

Now he wants some glory for being honest....

Have a good long think about things OP.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 06/02/2022 14:29

Didn’t Ross and Rachel argue about this for years?

HollowTalk · 06/02/2022 14:30

He sounds like a pathetic loser, tbh. You can do much better than this, OP.

Aquamarine1029 · 06/02/2022 14:31

If you have any sense whatsoever, you'll dump him immediately. He has shown you who he really is. Don't waste another minute on him.

MizzFizz · 06/02/2022 14:36

Yikes he sounds really immature... the not speaking for days is already a red flag... but then going around asking for sex from other women (?!) while what you both needed to be doing was reflecting and repairing the relationship. No, just no.

Crumbs22 · 06/02/2022 15:05

Hell. No. If this is his reaction or 'coping mechanism' or solution or whatever anyone wants to label it, it's damaging and a very, very clear indication of the type of person he is. Do you really want to be with this person?

Skippingabeat · 06/02/2022 15:11

Yes he's really immature and his behavior is very wrong.

If you haven't decided to dump him yet, you need to at least agree very clearly at which stage it becomes acceptable for both of you to have sex with other people, so he doesn't justify his behavior by "I thought you were doing it too".

Is it when you have an argument? Or when you haven't spoken together for 3 days, or when one blocks/ghosts the other for a few days or more, or when you have explicitly informed each other that you no longer want to be in this relationship....

Whatever you decide to do, I have sympathies for you as it's exhausting being in a relationship with someone so immature.

frozendaisy · 06/02/2022 15:28

Jesus wept.

The fact he thought he was Instagram's sex god would be enough on its own!

Badgering women online for sex is not a good luck eh?

AnyFucker · 06/02/2022 15:30

“We were on a break…”

Fuck off

Onthedunes · 06/02/2022 15:41

Don't you want to go out with a grown up instead of a child ?

Imagine having to put up with that level of stupid all your life, it gets wearing, boring and dull.

Tell him to grow up and get the fuck away from you, you don't need this idiot.

Hdhr8jsj · 06/02/2022 16:18

I'd dump him for being the type of bloke who asks for sex on Instagram.

ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 06/02/2022 16:21

@Layla9797

Would you forgive your partner if they admitted they would’ve had sex with someone else during an argument you had?

Me and my partner had a fallen out and didn’t talk for a few days. I later found out he was on Instagram asking girls for sex. (Yeah I know, that would’ve done it for me too)

His excuse was obviously because we were not talking and he felt I was doing the same and he was trying to forget me. I asked him if he had sex with someone else and he said no, but I’ll be honest with you, if I was given the opportunity I would’ve done it. I suppose I appreciate his honesty but at the same time I’m burning inside because I would not have been able to do that with someone else, even if we broke up, certainly not right away.

Any advice please? Thank you

Not only would I not forgive him, I would be asking myself why I would want to forgive someone with the morals of a scruffy old tom cat.
SunflowerTed · 06/02/2022 16:29

Dump unless you have extremely low self esteem and think that this is acceptable

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