How to get over a breakup when you found out stuff you didn't know?

[cherrylol77]

I had been seeing this guy for 6 months, and he never actually asked to be exclusive but we both kinda treated it as that. He always took ages to reply and didn't put alot of effort in so i did pull back a bit. I honestly thought he didn't like me from those actions but he just ended it and told me how we liked me so much and wanted me to chase him more and saw a long term relationship at some point! I'm just so confused now because i never felt that from him. He kinda wanted me to communicate more and be the one to ask to be exclusive which is kinda unfair to pin on me, normally the guy does the chasing so how was i meant to know? So now i'm devastated because i keep thinking "what if" and if i did stuff different it could of been something. How do i move on from these thoughts?

You look at his actions and realise that he’s manipulative and a headfuck.

It’s all bollocks. You WERE communicating and making an effort prior to pulling back and he responded to that by withdrawing and making you wait for him to respond to you. If he liked you that much, why wouldn’t he talk to you or make more of an effort with you, rather than just dump you? If he liked you that much then wild horses wouldn’t have been able to drag him away!

Whatever you did would have been wrong.

He’s a dick. Move on.

wanted me to chase him more

Yuk. What a loser to have the audacity to admit that. What kind of woman would put up with this crap?

Block. Move on.

He's trying to leave you tied in knots. I think you read the situation correctly and backed off, which hurt his pride a bit because he expected you to chase him for god knows what reason. If he had been that keen or mature enough for a relationship he would have made this clear by being communicative, just as you did. You can do better

Wow, well he’s certainly got grade A wanker written all over him. I’d say you dodged a bullet there to be honest.

There’s no “what if?”. If you had continued to be the one initiating contact regularly, and suggesting exclusivity, he would have dumped you and said you were too full on and needy. He just enjoys messing with peoples heads. Thank your lucky stars you didn’t waste too much time on him. There are many better men out there, and you deserve one of them.

Sounds like you’ve dodged a bullet.

So he didn’t make much effort with you but wanted you to ‘chase’ him - WTF!

How old are you both?
He sounds very immature and that he just wants to show his friends how desperate girls are around him.

You did nothing wrong. Move on.

I see red flags there.

He's a melter @cherrylol77, you're well rid.

On the surface of it, it seems like you've dodged a bullet but I see on here time and time again people advising women to not reply, don't look too keen, let him chase etc and I always think you'd be pissed off with a man doing that to you. Also, I'm not sure what taking ages to reply means anymore because again, on here women post complaining that they've waited 2hrs for a response to a good morning text and people call it a red flag.

Regardless, you're clearly incompatible so time to move on.

It's because you didn't chase him that he's playing with your head. To punish you.

Stay away from this manipulative dick.

”He always took ages to reply and didn't put alot of effort in so i did pull back a bit. I honestly thought he didn't like me from those actions.”

He pulled back with the contact then blamed you for not chasing him ????? So he pulled back with the contact intentionally then to see what your reaction would be???

Eurghh, and so the head games start.

You did the right thing – mirroring his level of interest. Ha! Bit him on the arse then really didn’t it {grin]

Bullet dodged. Move on.

He's full of shite.
You didn't do anything wrong.

As soon as you're not getting what you want from the relationship, dump them as it never gets any better.

Looking back, you can probably recognise several key times it would have been good to dump him.