Contacted an ex online after 13 years, need advice

[petef]

I looked up an ex on Facebook after 13 years of breakup back in mid November and sent an email. She contacted me within 90 minutes and we real timed emailed back and forth for about 30 minutes catching up etc.

By the end of November, we had emailed 2 more times, but not in real time. At the end of November, I emailed if she would like to talk on the phone instead and she emailed back to give her my phone number.

A few days later, beginning of December, on a Saturday morning, she emailed me to see if I was going to be around for the weekend and what would be a good time to call. I emailed back on Sunday morning to call me any time early Sunday evening.

I didn't hear back, so 11 days later, I emailed saying just checking in didn't hear from you. She emailed me 3 days later apologizing stating that her uncle and nephew had Covid and she was also busy with XMAS stuff and asked how I was doing. I emailed back I was home if she wanted to call me and then never heard from her again.

What happened? I was hoping to be friends or just talk. Why email me then never follow up. Now I feel like a fool and an idiot. Would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks

Well she could have a partner/family that she didn't mention to you. Or maybe she just thought better of it?

Sounds like she just got cold feet and decided not to pursue the plan. She might have got a thrill at first, thinking how good it would be to talk, but then reality might have kicked in ........she might have a husband, children, any number of things.

A few years ago I had a similar contact from an old boyfriend from about 20 years ago . At first I responded, thinking how great it would be to talk to him. Then I thought of how my life had changed for me, and how a chat with an old flame might impact on my life . Decided to cancel the planned chat , and blocked him. Maybe that is what happened. Things like this don''t always work out . Don't take it personally, just close that chapter in your life and move on.

Sounds like she cottoned on that it seemed to mean much more to you than it did her. And she maybe didn't know how to tell you.

Either way, time to move on.

I don't think she was particularly keen on reconnecting to begin with. It sounds like you had a pleasant catch-up online, then she agreed to the phone call to be polite.

If she was into you or keen on a friendship she would have tried harder.

If you truly didn't want more than a platonic friendship you would not have bothered asking for advice or posting about it. If she was a male friend from the past, would you be asking for advice like this?

Let it go and leave her be.

To me, she was pleased to hear from you initially and was polite to respond to you. I think as she may have realised that perhaps you wanted to pursue and maintain a connection she decided she wasn't able to reciprocate so best to leave it. It would have been better to give you a brief explanation but really you don't owe each other anything. Please don't feel bad about yourself, it happens with the best intentions.

She doesn’t want to reconnect past a check in. Leave her be.

Are u sure you just wanted to be friends?????? Maybe she has realized that you were maybe getting intense and wanted more then friendship?!

Sadly people change their minds. I know from personal experience. Please don't overthink it. She knows where you are. Leave her. If she's interested she will message you.