My son hates balloons popping at parties!

[taylormaid1]

My DS has been to a few parties and each time it's been a massive disaster - screaming, crying and wanting to 'go home' especially when balloons pop..

I'm at a loss, all
The other kids join in and have fun - he is clung to my leg the whole time.. it's upsetting to see, I contain his feelings as much as I can but it's hard..

When it's supposed to be fun

I am exactly like @5128gap and have been for as long as I can remember.
I have two DC and have done everything in my power not to let them see my fear. One loves balloons and the other is just like I was. It breaks my heart when she gets upset at parties and I hear myself minimising when explaining to people why she's crying, I can totally feel her terror. Sorry no advice but just to recognise that this is an absolute phobia and no amount of "they won't hurt you" will help.

I loathe squeaking ballon I terrified of them love them in a pretty display. Anyone blowing one up I even turn the sound down on tv, if I get jittery.

When I was a child, I hated it when other children ran round popping balloons. It always seemed to be the done thing to pop them at the end of a party, amongst the parties I attended anyway. No idea why. I much preferred taking my balloon home with me and trying to keep it as long as possible. They would slowly deflate over weeks, I remember.

Anyway, I'm late 50s now and still hate balloons popping, blow them up very conservatively, etc. The other day, 2 balloons randomly blew into our drive and I gave them to dh to pop them so we could dispose of them. To my absolute horror, he popped them there and then with his bare hands! If it had been me, I would have made a small cut in the rubber near the knot, that way they deflate without popping.

I don't think your son is unusual at all to not like the noise and confusion of balloons popping. And to be honest, he isn't that unusual to not enjoy the hullabaloo of a party.

Lifelong balloon hater here. They literally make me sweat.

My anxiety levels go through the roof at kids parties when you can guarantee there will be multiple bangs going off every few minutes. Fucking hideous.

Your post resonated with me a this sounds like my DD was when she was younger. I'm not a doctor and couldn't really know but it might be worth considering this theplaceforchildrenwithautism.com/what-is-autism/signs-of-autism-in-children/autism-anxiety. Particularly if there is anything additional as well as the party/ balloon thing.

@lemonsaretheonlyfruit tbh I've thought exactly the same/had concerns but how on earth do I go about getting someone to check?

Do I call GP? Mine is absolutely useless and barely give appointments unless leg is falling off..

He is at nursery and they haven't mentioned anything.. would they?

Thanks x

When my son was little one of his friendship group was the same so we all just didn't have balloons at the parties.

It made no difference to the others but all the difference to him. Do the other parents know how bad it is ?

@Timetobuckup I have literally only just met them from his nursery, we are brand new to the group.. I didn't want to make demands of birthdays as I know none of them properly yet..

But I think most could see how affected he was.. we have the next party in 1 week.. I've asked him if he wants to go and he said 'yes' but I think that's more for sweet treats and cake x

Ear defenders could be worth a try.

@BillieLurk teally great idea but tbh I'm not sure he would wear them, usually hats wearing additional things anyway such as hats etc., he pulls them off

My friend is sixty and still terrified of balloons. X

I think this is quite common for little ones.

It would be a shame for him to miss out on parties because of it though.

Calmer or Alpine pluggies

Good for hearing protection

Don't blame him. The loud noise is really unpleasant and for all you know he could have hearing that's a bit more sensitive. Does he cover his ears at least?

He's only 3. I really wouldn't read too much into it. Have a goody bag made up ready to go if a balloon pops and he gets upset. Parties I've been to generally don't have an orgy of balloon popping. They just sit there!

A child in my daughters class was terrified of balloons too. Every other parent completely understood so we all had no balloons at parties and there were plenty of other options for fun that meant everyone could be included. If children really want balloons we put them in party bags to inflate when they get home. We all saw it as no different as providing egg free options for another child. Most invites had a comment on saying let me know about allergies and the child’s mum would put it there.

Unfortunately only one single parent came to share some sympathy the rest were either looking/staring or not..

I'd approach this with a technique called grades exposure. A couple of PPs have mentioned something similar.

Google is your friend here. Start by looking at pictures of cartoon balloons popping, then photos of real balloons popping. Move to videos of balloons popping. Start small (on a phone) with the sound turned down. Then gradually turn the sound up and watch them on a laptop screen and a TV screen. Watch the videos again and again until he no longer experiences and anxiety response.

Once he is happy with videos, move to real balloons. Blow them up just a little so that they deflate rather than explode when you pop them. Then gradually blow them up bigger and bigger until they bang properly. Put him in control, either by popping them himself or by telling you when to pop them. Keep doing this until he can tolerate the noise

The final step is to deal with the unexpected nature of it. Start by telling him you are going to pop a balloon in the next minute. Then the next five minutes. Have him watch a TV show and tell him you will pop a balloon at some point. Then tell him you will pop a balloon at some point during the morning etc. The purpose of this is to enable him to tolerate the uncertainty of whether he is going to hear a balloon pop.

HTH

graded exposure not grades exposure

Sounds like my ds when he was little. Hated sudden noises/bangs etc. Also couldn't bear going to the cinema because he found the volume too loud. Can't remember when he grew out of it, but it wasn't any indicator of any other problems.

Does he have any other sensory noise issues?

I have misophonia and the even the thought of balloons popping is enough to make me feel rage.

Please do have a look at Misophonia.

There was a little girl in my daughters class that couldn't stand them. She wore ear defenders for a bit....but then parents just stopped having balloons if she was coming. She had a proper phobia.

Many children don't like them but get used to it as they get older. Your little one is still tiny. So don't stress

@taylormaid1
Three is really little. I know this post has attracted a lot of people with sensory issues but I'm not sure its hugely representative. Lots of little kids hate certain loud noises - hand dryers is another common one!

DS1 is now six, and at three he was the one clinging on while the other kids all seemed to dive in. He's fine now, no apparent sensory or social issues. I've also since realised that plenty of other kids also get overwhelmed at parties.

@cheeseismydownfall this is brilliant- thank you

I'll give this a try for sure.. great advice

Xx

@taylormaid1, just to add, the key to graded exposure is not to rush - repeat each step again and again until he really is completely unfazed by it before moving up to the next level. As he is so little I would also think about rewarding him with a chocolate button or something after every exposure, which will help engage him in the process and rewire his brain to associate the balloon popping with a positive experience. I know that sounds a bit like training a dog, and it kind of is, but there is nothing wrong with that!

When dealing with phobias (assuming the person is NT - I have no experience of this in children who are ND), the trick is to avoid 'avoidant' behaviour (e.g. not going to parties, or asking the organiser not to have balloons) or 'safety' behaviours (e.g. wearing ear defenders), because they actually strengthen the fear in the long term by reinforcing the idea that there is something to be afraid of.

All that being said - he is very little and not liking busy parties at 3 is no big deal at all! Two of my three children definitely didn't at that age but grew to enjoy them as they got older. And he may very well outgrow his fear. But if your DS is otherwise keen to go then its worth spending a bit of time to overcome it. Good luck!