Dw just accused me of sighing in front of friend

[Whiteminnowfish]

Friend came over a few nights ago. Dw had a drink and I did.
Friend didn't drink as she was driving.

We chatted and kids played, ate some food. Friend went home then we all went to bed - nothing said.

This morning dw was very cold with me, hardly spoke.
I went to Doctors and when I got back she didn't ask me how it went.

Dd is at a club today for 3 hours I asked dw if she fancied doing something together lunch or something. She said no.

She got dressed (doesn't normally go out), I asked where she was going and she said out to see her dad.

I asked her what is wrong as she's hardly spoke to me all morning.

She said last night when she was talking to my friend, I kept sighing and she asked how that might have made her feel. I just don't recall me doing this at all. I don't know why she thinks I've done this.

She said if I was doing that to her that I've got no respect for her.

We've been having issues for a while now I just don't understand why she thought that.

I am also female also.

I rang my friend (my friend always tells me straight even if i was in the wrong), and I asked her to be honest with me and tell me if I was signing when my dw spoke and friend said I did nothing of the sort.

What shall I say when dw gets back. Don't want an atmosphere and sick of all the arguments.

If she doesn’t go out much, she might have low self-esteem and feels paranoid about the slightest thing. It’s a hard one but maybe take it easy on her, sounds like she’s stuck in wfh rut

@UserBot9to5

Well, don't tell her that your friend ''sides with you'' as in the friend's opinion as supposed Judge and Jury conclusion that you did not sigh when she spoke is not going to help!

If I felt disrespected by you and you went to a friend to tell her about it and she said no, you're innocent, and you offered that up as evidence, I'd feel gaslighted.

I would suggest that you're not making each other happy so it's time to go your separate ways.

Interesting take that the wife is feeling like she is being gaslighted given that OP can't recall doing what she is accused of and the other person in the room can't recall it either. Sounds like there is some gaslighting going on but not sure you've got the right victim.

OP, you are sure you didn't do this, your friend who was there is sure you didn't do this, so you need to stand your ground. It is not they way to an easy life, but you can't accept people making stuff up about you because they are unhappy.

I think as long as your friend is not bothered about it and you aren't, it's DW's problem. If my husband was doing this and I thought it was rude, I would have taken him aside and made him aware, not let him carry on if it was such a faux pa.

Op, the first thing I was inclined to say was that those who think sighing is is rude need to get a life. To me, bearing in mind English is not my first language, sighing means to exhale air when your feeling sorry for yourself or you’re just taking a break in conversation before you carry on (while talking about your misfortunes or hearing about those of your interlocutor). So which of these things your partner is accusing you of doing? Because if your friend was fine with you I’d say your partner is at a stage where she gets easily irritated by you. Either way, try and discuss with her what she thinks you have done.

It's very odd that she thought she heard you sighing but you don't remember sighing, nor does the friend.

Could she have been hearing something else or have an issue with her hearing? Only you will know if that's likely, based upon her normal behaviour, i.e. does she often raise issues which you don't understand?

Must be difficult for you. I would feel frustrated being accused of something I hadn't done

It's now Tuesday and she's barely speaking to me. Only speaks if it's something to ask about daughter.

She spoke with dd7 this morning saying she is going to take her out shopping. Dd7 said mammy as well and dw said no, she can stay at home and rest.

How old are you both? Her not speaking to you; and refusing to do family activities is just plain pathetic. The only person she's going to hurt in the long run is your child.
Tell her to grow up, come and speak to you as an adult or to get the hell out.

If the two of you can't resolve a disagreement in a healthy way, you don't have a healthy relationship, and you need to leave, regardless of the subject of the disagreement.

Regardless of whose fault it is, you're miserable. That's what matters.