No libido

[BBOA]

Long story short and sure it’s a common one. With DH for 30 years , kids older teens, had full hysterectomy ( can’t have hrt) and have just lost that loving feeling. Not going to ‘take one for the team’ and attempts to spice things up just give me the ick. I think I have the ick for my DH full stop. He’s never been an affectionate person and I’ve told him for 20 plus years that would help. No change. I’m not interested in anyone else. I feel quite sorry for him. He said the other day he thought he wouldn’t cope without me but I don’t see that. He was nostalgic about good times, but that was years ago. Anyone had relationship counselling and come back from these sort of things?

Are you sure about hrt? There's so much out of date information even with medical professionals. I'd recommend having a look at the balance app for peer reviewed, up to date advice, and look into testosterone replacement. If lack of libido is caused by hormone deficiency, 'spicing things up' isn't going to help!

No advice, just sympathy! Am in a somewhat similar position and I just don't lament what used to be. If I could be 'cured' I wouldn't be looking into it or doing it for my benefit. I wonder if I'm being selfish though.

I’ve tried a gazillion different hrt’s including testosterone, but I am inherently allergic to pretty much every medication…..got worse with menopause incidentally….. and the side effects just aren’t bearable.

And good point- I’m not actually bothered at all. It’s not for me Feel sorry for DH I really do. Not sure where that leaves us.

Kindest thing would be to let him go so that he has a chance to meet someone who does desire him and wants to rip his cloths off or just to be brutally honest with him and tell him you've got the ick and are not interested in sex ever again and see what he thinks. Opening up your relationship? Is that an option?
If you're not bothered, you're not bothered, I cannot see how you can change that or why you should.