I have been with my dh since my early twenties now 40. We have 3 children.
The last couple of years have been really tough.
I realised I was quite, lonely and unsupported.
Last year I found out he was messaging someone else.
He denied it was anything. Turned it back on me telling me I was paranoid etc. She was a friend etc etc.
But his behaviour changed he was edgy, secretive with his phone, complimenting me in odd ways he never had before.
I saw messages from her and he went crazy and deleted all history between them when I asked to see.
Recently I have suggested therapy together.
He was cautious and brought up the other woman.
Saying she had needed his support over a loss and love life advice!
He made it sound like it was all her and not him. It’s taken him nearly a year to tell me this.
I have realised he isn’t honest. His behaviour towards me can be jealous and mildly controlling. It turns out he has been checking my messages without me realising since the beginning of our relationship. He sometimes tries to stop me seeing friends. Also questions me if a male colleague etc gets in touch.
An ex boyfriend got in touch and he went crazy even though I hadn’t instigated and was honest with him.
It seems like one rule for him and one for me.
I feel hurt and unsure wether to carry on with him.
He has questioned me about the ex boyfriend even though there isn’t much to say. I tried to explain I appreciated him reaching out at the time as when I was with him I was hurt. He talked over me when I was trying to explain and laughed. As if he didn’t think it was a important part of life.
I’m so hurt by his behaviour.Any advice.