Long and complicated
I do not want a flaming. I know this is all kinds of fucked up.
DP and I are stuck in a never ending cycle of me feeling like he doesn't want me - only here because of our child, me telling him that. Me feeling shit and him acting indifferent, me being angry - I can't escape
I'm also 17 weeks pregnant (unplanned, BPAS was booked but I couldn't go through with it) And I'm really struggling with how I feel about this all. Haven't told family I'm pregnant.
Basically DP and I both divorced. Kids from previous. We got pregnant really quickly, He tried to fuck his ex when I was pregnant before - (made a move on her more than once) I only found out once our child was born. I asked him to leave. He refused. We've gone through a cycle of this, me bringing it up me being hurt still years on. Now I'm pregnant again. Still feel like he doesn't listen to me doesn't care how I am just tells me to be happy. In the past he's told me I can't talk about his behaviour from when I was pregnant as it makes him feel sad fuck it gives me the rage the entitled cunt. Any way.
I'm so so so sad. I cry daily. I feel hopeless and tonight while I was at a club with my DC I came home to find he's not fed our child. I'm grumpy. I asked him why the fuck he hasn't fed DC etc and he was rude and told me to fuck off and I said I would if I could - he's then stood shouting at me to fuck off and go then while I just cried. I feel so so lost. I'm meant to be this strong independent woman, I left my ex husband for less ffs because I wanted my kids to never be exposed to this sort of shit.
He's now being Disney dad with his dc and I'm sitting sobbing in my bed.