Has anyone ever fixed mismatched libido without splitting up?

[Balula]

There's a lot of threads about sexless marriages and mis matched libido on here, I was just wondering if anyone had experienced it from either side and managed to fix the issue and stay in a happy relationship without opening up the relationship as that is off the table for the persons who wants the physical side of the relationship.

Compromise. One party had a little less than they wanted, and the other tried harder and probably had it more often than would have liked.

@JMPB

Compromise. One party had a little less than they wanted, and the other tried harder and probably had it more often than would have liked.

Exactly. Compromise and DIY for the one with the higher libido.

It also depends a bit on the reasons for low libido. If there are any medical issues they can be fixed. Or if there is exhaustion and too much housework/childcare. If there is depression. Low self esteem.
Some of these things can be worked on and result in improvements in libido.

Hormonal fluctuations can also be the cause. Low testosterone in men. Also in women - (at much smaller doses) - it’s at times is added to HRT for perimenopause and does increase libido. It can’t be reliably tested in women, so a gynaecologist may be able to help.

But yes - it needs compromise. If it’s a happy and loving relationship - both sides need to try to do something.

Finally - if the person with low libido is actually OK with opening up the relationship - it shouldn’t be off the table. It probably needs more conversations about how it may also be used to help you move forward.
There are many ways boundaries can move to - and it doesn’t always have to mean getting a bit of sex off tinder, which won’t be appealing to a married person.

Can the relationship be open on lower libido’s side?

*also

I think the reason for the low libido is very important.

Both sides need to be completely truthful and open.

Feeling safe is essential.

Decisions need to be mutual, do not brush this problem under the carpet.

The low libido is due to years of undiagnosed mental health and ND issues which are now being worked on with a psychiatrist. Not knowing themselves due to years of masking, again being worked on.

Housework/childcare evenly is split. No time together outside the home though due to no money to hire childcare and no willing family/friends or time tbh.

Opening relationship is deffo off the table.

Both parties keen to resolve the issue and find a happy medium although there's concern that doing it when not having the desire will cause resentment but equally never doing it will do the same so it's tricky.

No hormone issues, menopause not close (I think!) we're both in our mid 30's.

We love each other very much and the lines of communication are very much open so it's not hushed away. We'll work on it together. Thank you for the replies.

I believe in compromise, but not as others above have set it out. I believe the frequency of sex should always be set according to the person with the lower libido. No one should ever have sex if they don’t want to - ever. However, the compromise should come in actively and conscientiously working on the reasons or contributing factors for the low libido, if they can be identified. And then, time and patience. It sounds as though that’s being done.