Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being selfish?

4 replies

Monsty · 30/12/2007 21:15

At the beginning of every school holiday my "friend" always says that she wants us to do stuff together with the kids and that I should phone her but this is only when her husband is at work.

I'm a single parent so am stuck in 90% of the time but she only ever wants to do anything when SHE'S got nothing to do. So for instance, if the holiday is 3 weeks long she will completely ignore me for two weeks of it whilst her husband is off work...no phone calls or anything but will immediately start wanting to plan stuff and complain that she's bored as soon as he's back at work.

I know its understandable that she wants to spend time with him when hes off work but I resent being used the minute he's out of the picture like that, am I being unreasonable? Its not just her husband she does it with, if anyone else (like her sil who she doesnt even like and constantly complains about!) offers to take her out she'll go and spend the week with her because she has a car and can take her places and will then come back to me as soon as sil is busy (and complain about her!).

I've heard nothing from her since the kids broke up for christmas but her husband goes back to work tomorow and I've just recieved a text off her saying she'll phone me tomorow so we can arrange something.

I'm feeling a bit used, as if I'm expected to sit and wait until she needs me for company.

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 30/12/2007 21:18

Do you have any other friends?

I think you'll be as bad as her if you sit about & wait for her to call you......

Monsty · 30/12/2007 21:22

Thats the thing though, I dont sit and wait for her to call, I dont particulary like going anywhere with her as all she does is whinge on about her sil and husband but its the fact that as soon as they're not around she's on the phone pretty much demanding that we arrange something as if I'm her back up plan so to speak.

I know it probably sounds like I'm being childish but I think its more down to her overall personality. Whenever I speak to her she goes on and on and on about how terrible her life is with her sil and her husband etc etc without stopping to think that I'm not exactly living the life of riley either and it grates even more when she makes it so obvious that she only wants me when the people she complains about so much are not around.

OP posts:
WinkyWinkola · 30/12/2007 21:42

Erm, she doesn't sound like the kind of friend you're interested in. I'd slowly phase her out of my life, if I were you. No need to be rude, just be quietly unavailable and find some cheerful friends who would like to see you regardless of whether their DH is around.. .. . . .Why can't you see them with their DH?

rosalinda · 04/01/2008 19:26

only go out with her is its convenient/pleasurable for you. dont worry about whether she is using you, use her. All relationships are transactional, if she pisses you off then ignore her and type something mildly entertaining on mumsnet instead.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread