My exP split with me on the day I told him I was pregnant. We had been together for 3 years, the pregnancy was unplanned & totally unexpected (I was told that I could not have anymore children after 2nd dd was born).
A week afterwards I called & arranged to meet so we could discuss the situation. I was totally opposed to termination & suggested adoption - he said "no way". I asked how we are going to deal with this & he said it was up to me!
The pregnancy ended up being very stressful, my exP was impossible to deal with, one minute being "nice" another he was cruel, selfish, calling me every name under the sun. I was scared stiff of suffering post natal depression as I had in the past (2 daughters from previous marriage) and facing being a sole parent.
I had many admissions into hospital for high blood pressure, pre-eclampsia & suspected diabetes.
The birth was shocking (72hrs). ExP was at the birth as was my 2 dd. Horrific experience.
DS was born with no heart beat & not breathing, he suffered a broken left arm, paralysed right arm, shoulder & hand (erbs palsy)... was in NICU for 2 months, I was in hospital for 3 weeks. Ds was also diagnosed with Congenital Hypothyroidism (he has no thyroid gland at all), Tachyarythmia, Cardiomyopathy, Erbs palsy, partial agenisis of Corpus Colosum, enlarged septum/heart and umbilical hernia.
DS is now 14 months old & after an absolute hell of a year is now doing well. ExP has been useless, unsupportive & violent at times when visiting to see ds. Police & Family Court involved (exP took DS and refused to return him, federal Police recovered him & returned him to me). ExP pays regular child support & see's DS every Sunday - I have only just relaxed a little to allow him to take ds for the afternoon.
Now I am about to travel overseas to Portugal so DS can meet his fathers family. Intially plans were made together with DS father in a mutual way (he was actually excited about ds meeting ex's mother & family). I have scraped money together for this trip and have been left to arrange everything alone. ExP is very unhelpful & moody... have paid in full all airfares, accomodation & passports, visas & expenses. I even had to go to Family Court to get order for DD's passport to be approved (ex-h opposed DD's travel overseas & refused to sign passport application).
Now exP has told me he may not travel because of financial problems. All the money I've spent is non-refundable. ExP is so cruel and beligerent about the situation, doesn't care about the money I've paid or the fact I face travelling alone with just DS 1 DD. I am so upset because money could of been used to buy a car & learnt to drive so I am completely independant.
Can anyone advise me on what I should do? I am so confused & depressed & feel sad that everything is completely stuffed.