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Did I embarrass myself?

9 replies

leyahx · 03/02/2022 17:02

Hello,

So most recently I went back online to seek marriage. Firstly, it was just a swiping thing, but I then got chatting to someone. Initially for the first couple of days there was a good connection, lots of good conversation and he mentioned he was serious about marriage and settling down as well. He disappeared for about 2 days and then apologised and said that he had long days and had been busy (during this time I had seen him online multiple times throughout the 2 days). I continues to be patient and thought ok, maybe he was busy and did not let the fact he had been online affect my judgement, as with these apps it's like a candy shop. So we began to make plans and we spoke for the whole day about similarities and whether he was serious about settling down, showed each other pictures and compliments were thrown around. After making plans and saying goodbye that night, we spoke till around half 1 in the morning I logged off. The next morning he messaged asking how I was, after I replied he disappeared again for a day first, then 2. But this time he took off his online statuses so I couldn't see whether he was coming back online (I never mentioned this to him). I never really felt like talking to other people on there although I had lots of matches and a premium account. Due to this reason I messaged him, I said he was someone I connected with and I would like to speak again. I also mentioned I will be going off the app. I left my number and went off the application by logging out. A couple of days had passed, when I logged in again, his profile had gone, I'm not sure whether he blocked me or whatever - but I now feel so stupid leaving my number there. Did I embarrass myself by doing that or was it right so I could see he wasn't actually serious but just sweet talking??

OP posts:
WhyYesYABU · 03/02/2022 17:11

My guess would be married.

WhyYesYABU · 03/02/2022 17:13

And no you didn't embarrass yourself. He's probably just a snake. Move on and don't take it personally.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/02/2022 17:15

Married, had a partner, or just an all around fuckwit. Take your pick. Good riddance.

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 03/02/2022 17:18

You definitely haven't embarrassed yourself. He sounds like an idiot and you have had a lucky escape

leyahx · 03/02/2022 17:39

@Aquamarine1029

Married, had a partner, or just an all around fuckwit. Take your pick. Good riddance.
Seriously don't know what's wrong with people and whatever happened to honesty?!

It doesn't help since it's been a couple of years since I found out the last guy I was seeing was actually married with 2 kids, and he was having a relationship with me! Just knocks my confidence ten-folds and I've been so angry at myself and everyone around me all week!

Maybe it is time to bow out of these apps as they don't seem to bring about any good.

OP posts:
GrumpyTerrier · 03/02/2022 18:00

No definitely you didn't embarrass yourself. He sounds unreliable and possibly he is not what he seems. Consider that you have dodged a bullet. I hope you find a decent one soon!

Mermaidwaves · 03/02/2022 19:29

Dont believe anything you are told online, there's no way to back it up and I certainly wouldn't be discussing marriage after a few days even if ultimately thats what you're looking for.

You need to be tough and cynical which is sad but dont trust or believe anyone until you've met in real life and spent proper time together in person, I've learnt this the hard way.

leyahx · 03/02/2022 21:04

@Mermaidwaves

Dont believe anything you are told online, there's no way to back it up and I certainly wouldn't be discussing marriage after a few days even if ultimately thats what you're looking for.

You need to be tough and cynical which is sad but dont trust or believe anyone until you've met in real life and spent proper time together in person, I've learnt this the hard way.

You're right, I should know this as I got burned from my ex. His whole family was in with the secret marriage and children which messed me up for years after. Normally it doesn't bother me, but this one affected me as maybe I tried to see the best in a person. Unfortunately it's sad, that these days can't believe anything that anyone says which ruins things for the decent ones.
OP posts:
Mermaidwaves · 03/02/2022 23:49

@leyahx
Sadly OLD has made me really cynical and bitter, I've not had one positive experience from it. I truly hope it works out for you, just keep aware and your boundaries high.

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