You know, this is the saddest point I’ve ever felt and I think it’s just slow realisation.
Ever felt that you and the person you whole heartedly adored and the person that was your soul mate just isn’t anymore? That you’ve drifted apart and whatever was there between you both has just gone?
Well yeah that’s me.
My partner is the person I doted in, told everything, he knew me better than I knew myself, made me cry, made me cry, I absolutely adored him. I still love him…but I don’t adore him.
About 9 months before I fell pregnant with our daughter, things started to turn not sour but less rosey. He was more interested in work. We fell out more often and spent less time with each other and things didn’t feel so easy. Fast forward 9 months, I fell pregnant with our daughter and god I love that kid. But baby’s are hard on a relationship right? I did the majority of it myself as I knew it would be a argument starter of who has the harder day and who has less sleep (he works 46 hours a week). So I did it all and let him have the fun stuff the sleepy cuddles and the giggles. On my maternity leave I did all the school runs for the older two and the night time bottles. Meanwhile in the background we are growing apart slowly but it’s happening I feel it.
Fast forward to now. I have returned to work after mat leave only part time as he didn’t want me to return on too many hours. Baby is thriving. Our relationship is dire! Oh my god a couple of days doesn’t go by without me asking “why are you so standoffish with me? What’s wrong?” For me to get “nothing is wrong” for it then to be an early night and in separate sleeping spaces. We end up doing the back and forth of essay texts messages which usually is how stressful his life is and how he never gets any free time. Like mums do? I work and do everything and then some. I’m constantly made to feel like I’ve done something wrong or I’m a bad person. All I should is look after the kids and give him an easy life because that’s my job. I haven’t been out since December 2020 because I used to be made to feel terrible for it and he wouldn’t speak to me for days.
I literally never get a break. Which I’ve accepted. I’ll have a break when they’re 16 😂
Anywho our relationship has just dwindled. No affection, no intimacy…which I used to love with him and now it’s like it’s a chore for us. We sit in the couch when the kids go bed and it’s silent until 9pm when I go to bed. I have tried and tried and fix this. To snap him out of it making me feel unloved and it works for maybe a week then goes back to this and I just don’t know if I have the energy anymore to keep trying
7 years this year. I’m starting to
Worry he’s got the 7 year itch and found someone else and I’m being pushed out.
Help. Is this salvageable or is life too short? Should we move on. Who has been here?
Me and my partner have a daughter she’s is 1. We both have a child each from previous relationships.