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Relationships

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People moving on very quickly...

11 replies

LadyGagagagaga123 · 02/02/2022 10:32

A friend of mine was in a relationship for 2 years. We all know he is a good, genuine person and he was very much in love with his girlfriend. There is no doubt had it worked out he would have proposed, they would have married and had a very happy life together. However she eventually realised she didn't feel as strongly for him so did the right thing and let him go. I don't believe she was or is seeing anyone else. He was absolutely devastated. He was in tears constantly, almost took time off work through stress and was so broken we were taking it in turns to check up on him. However less than three months later it's like it never happened and he's back online looking for "the one". I honestly don't know whether to admire him for moving on and getting over it so quickly instead of walking around traumatised for the rest of the year like I would have done, pity him for being incapable of being alone or just assuming he can't have truly loved the woman in the first place. Another person I know "upgrades" partners every two years. Each time claiming she is utterly in love with each one, which is obviously bullshit. You can't be truly "in love" with 5 different people in one decade. It's just lust. Love doesn't end or get replaced so quickly, even if it's one sided surely. Even on here you'll read about people (sometimes obviously not always) being happily married for 25 years, becoming widowed and then remarrying with 18 months. I just find it baffling. I have had my own heart broken twice and each time it was at the very least a good full year before I could even bear the thought of anyone else. It must be great to brush heartache and nostalgia off so quickly. So my question I suppose is HOW do they bloody do it?!

OP posts:
Aprilx · 02/02/2022 10:46

Perhaps the man you mentioned thinks it will help him to get out there and meet somebody else.

LadyGagagagaga123 · 02/02/2022 12:20

Ah the rebound

OP posts:
RedCandyApple · 02/02/2022 12:22

3 months isn’t bad, after me and my ex spilt my ex met and moved in a woman he met ONCE 5 weeks after we split and I had a newborn 😑

SunflowerTed · 02/02/2022 12:25

I don't think you can judge and compare his recovery to your situation
I'd be more worried if he carried on grieving. Be happy for him that he is a positive person who wants to move on

Thevalley · 02/02/2022 14:22

Why should someone stay mourning a loss when they've been dumped? Why shouldn't he get out there and meet someone?

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 02/02/2022 14:29

It's dependent on your outlook and mindset.

I split with a partner I was with for over 20 years. Genuinely intended to spend the rest of my life with them. Things went off the boil for long enough that I realised the relationship was making me miserable, so I ended it. Felt physically sick for about a week, but that went away pretty sharply, and I realised that I was immediately happier just being out of the constraints of a relationship.

Met somebody new within weeks, been together for years now and still entirely happy.

I'm a pragmatic person, and I see the majority of other people as irrational and enormously overly emotional. What would be the purpose in sitting around wallowing in misery about a relationship that is over, history, isn't coming back, and that you are powerless to do anything about anyway? It's folly, and I'm not going to waste any time or headspace thinking about an individual that is not in any way a material part of my life any more. Plenty of other things to concentrate on that do deserve my attention.

Coronawireless · 02/02/2022 14:45

He sounds like a lightweight and that’s possibly why his partner dumped him.

TheFoundation · 02/02/2022 17:32

I think this is a bit like 'I don't like raspberries, so I don't understand how anybody else can like raspberries.'

Everybody's different. Nobody's way is 'the right way'.

LadyGagagagaga123 · 02/02/2022 17:46

@RedCandyApple

3 months isn’t bad, after me and my ex spilt my ex met and moved in a woman he met ONCE 5 weeks after we split and I had a newborn 😑
Sorry but that is just desperate
OP posts:
RedCandyApple · 02/02/2022 17:50

Exactly so bizarre, needless to say it didn’t work out for them!

Valkyrie40 · 02/02/2022 17:51

When I split with my ex I was upset and didn't think I'd have another relationship for a long time - I wanted to enjoy being single and playing the field a bit.

Then 3 weeks later I met a man in a bar and all that flew out the window.

We've been married 15 years!

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