Do you think this is BS?

[SnowdropsAndSunshine]

I'm in the process of separating from my partner. We have a young child and it's quite complicated as it is for most I suppose.
I've met up with a man I've known a while a few times (please don't judge me I know I was in the wrong but I've been so unhappy) and we've spoken in messages over the years but nothing out of line.

He's very kind to me and makes me feel like that teenage butterfly feeling.
I told him how complicated things are - that I still have a mortgage to sort out and how things are with me and ex DP.. that he'd probably be better in his own or with someone with less complications. He replied this -

"I know. Well. I know it goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway.

I’m going nowhere. It all takes how long it takes. I’ll do all I can to support you. I’m a patient guy, and I know you’re worth the wait. Xx

I do honestly care for you, and want the best for you, no matter what. Xx"

Would you trust it.. or do you think it's just words? Do I try to work on my unhappy partnership for the kids in the hope we can salvage it and bring it back to life? Or do I go with this feeling and see how it goes?

Nobody can see into the future. The fact that you're asking on a forum about this, something that's not even a relationship yet, where nothing has gone wrong yet, suggests that you really don't have your own back, and you're already worried and anxious.

People who have their own back recognise that even the likely most trustworthy people can surprise you by letting you down, and there's no way of knowing. What they know is that however let down they ever are by anybody, they will be fine. They will never be so hurt that it wrecks them. They have enough of a life of their own, enough autonomy, that if a person lets them down, their life won't drop to pieces. They don't need to post on forums about stuff like this, because they will trust a person until they feel inklings of distrust, at which point they will leave the relationship, and nobody on a forum can tell them any better.

Leave relationships behind, and work on building this mindset. Do lots of things for you, so that you are happy and fulfilled by you.

@TheFoundation very wise words. Thank you

Don't stay in an unhappy relationship. That is not good for the kids as you wpuldnt want them to think it is normal. Also, it is not fair on your partner as you like someone else.

As for Mr 'I'll wait'. I'm inclined to take that with a pinch of salt. It's common for people who pursue those in a marriage to do so only because they get a kick out if the thought of stealing you away. 9/10 I'd say not to trust it.

You know him better than us though of course.
But either way I would distance yourself from him for now. At least until you've separated from your current partner. And ideally 6 months or so have passed. Then if you give him a shout and he is still interested, great. But if not, at least you'll know you left your ex for the right reasons and not for some other bloke.

The fact that you're wondering 'I'm not sure I can trust this guy...' is enough to tell you to pull away. When you meet the right person, you will feel happy and safe. That's all you need to know. Anyone who makes you feel any different, is either doing something bad, or triggering a sensitivity in you which needs to be respected. In either instance, you need to pull back. The person you need to respect most is you, so you need to respect that sensitivity.

'I'm not sure I can trust him' doesn't mean he's untrustworthy, but it does mean that his natural manner doesn't encourage a settled feeling in you. Whether he's doing anything wrong or not isn't the issue; the issue is how you feel, and how you respond to it.

Some of these responses seem mean and harsh.

If hes a good guy and you see a future, take him at face value and see what happens?
.I think it's quite a sweet thing of him to say. He is trying to reassure you.

Do you doubt it because your not really sure what you want yourself.
Don't leave for another man, there's no guarantee he means it or even wants a relationship, only leave if you're genuinely unhappy, if this other guy wasn't around would you still want to separate?

@Sonaftersonafterson

Some of these responses seem mean and harsh.

If hes a good guy and you see a future, take him at face value and see what happens?
.I think it's quite a sweet thing of him to say. He is trying to reassure you.

I don't think its mean to suggest the OP put herself first and trust her instincts.

We none of us know this man or what his intentions are. He might be totally legit, he might not be. You say he sounds "sweet" but that's very naïve: any man trying to seduce a woman is going to put his best foot forwards with her. That doesn't mean he's automatically a snake, but you would be an idiot to think that because someone is capable of making themself sounds sweet in pursuit of a woman they must be trustworthy.

The point is that the OP needs to feel settled and good in herself before she's able to trust herself to be in a new relationship. For whatever reason, this man isn't engendering a feeling of trust. It may be because he isn't trustworthy. It may be because the OP isn't in the right place yet. Either way, you should take this extremely slowly and ideally spend some time on your own before putting all your eggs in this basket.