Hi everyone,
First time posting here and would be really grateful for some thoughts, comments or anything really in relation to my conundrum.
In summary:
I live with my partner, we both generally have a good relationship etc etc and prior to covid we never worked from home (we had a 1 bed flat and have now bought a house).
My partner generally works from home most of the time, whereas I am office based most of the time. We set up the dining room as a large combined study because our kitchen has enough space for a dining area. I have suggested it would make more sense to have my desk in the upstairs “box room” where we don’t currently have anything in. My reasons are as follows:
- my headset has a wire, so when I receive calls from clients I need to stay at my desk, whereas my partner has a wireless headset and can move around when on a call
- if we have calls at the same time, it means they have to leave the room and take the call
- generally the room is not big enough to have both desks in and the door won’t shut with my chair there as it’s against the door
- if we have separate spaces to work, we can both take calls without worrying about the other one
- my office is large and if someone has a call it’s not distracting/ or loud, whereas in a smaller room when one person is talking it dominated the entire room - it’s a different set up entirely for obvious reasons
- prior to lockdown, this would never have been a conversation - neither person would have accused the other of not spending time in each other’s company just because we are going to work
- work isn’t about spending time in someone’s company, it’s about work! I truly value the time when we do spend it together.
My partner has taken this badly, and says that it’s because I “don’t want to spend any time with them”. I have reassured them that it’s obviously not the case, and set the above reasons out as to why it makes perfect sense to me for me to have my desk upstairs, when I am working from home we can still have coffees or lunch and or lunchtime walks together; that wouldn’t change. I mentioned the subject again this morning and was told the same again, that it’s ridiculous and they said they should go and find someone who wants to spend time with them.
Feeling anxious, it’s odd because my partner is never this “sensitive” or needing reassurance (if I’m interpreting it correctly!) and is otherwise a confident outgoing person who has always been okay in their own company.
Don’t want to cause any more rifts, but equally would be grateful what everyone else thinks? Feels so ridiculous to be falling out over this. Thank you anyone who has read this 