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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Friend of my DD

19 replies

haylzmailz · 31/01/2022 14:28

So my DD's friend calls at our house onto walk with DD to bus stop for school each morning. They're both 14 and this has been their little routine since starting high school.
The friend using sits in our dining room and waits 5 or 10 minutes whilst DD finishing getting reading and feeding pets outside.
When ready, DD goes in dining room to get her friend and they leave together.
On Friday, DD got upset at night and told me that on Friday morning she saw friend standing up in front of the welsh dresser in dining room, looking bright red and very guilty about something.
Husband and I went to look if anything was missing and a £10 note (money we leave out to pay the window cleaner) had disappeared.
It seems highly suspicious given the friend was standing over the welsh dresser when DD went to get her. Usually the friend just sits and waits at the table, playing on her mobile or finishes homework.
The friend is such a nice girl from a decent respectable family. No previous things like this have happened and she's over at our house a lot. She's one of DD's best friends.
DD hasn't felt able to say anything about what happened.
How do I approach this?

OP posts:
GiantSpider · 31/01/2022 14:30

Personally I would do nothing and stop leaving any money in the room. It's such a small amount of money and not worth coming between DD and her (otherwise nice) friend.

CoastalWave · 31/01/2022 14:34

@GiantSpider

Personally I would do nothing and stop leaving any money in the room. It's such a small amount of money and not worth coming between DD and her (otherwise nice) friend.
I agree.

Although I'd go so far as to put a note where the £10 was saying something along the lines of, You need to stop snooping - in case she tries it again!

SNUG2022 · 31/01/2022 14:34

I wouldn't do anything either, and would just remove any valuables. Obviously in my head I'd be thinking wtf. My dc are still little, but I always remove their money boxes from their rooms if they have friends round Blush.

ADisgruntledPelican · 31/01/2022 14:37

I wouldn't do anything except make sure you don't leave money or valuables lying around because, tbh, my first thought was that your DD might have taken the money and be blaming her friend.

MissMaple82 · 31/01/2022 14:39

I'd say it's highly suspicious of your daughter to even notice this! How would the friend know to look in the dresser? You're daughter is probably the culprit here

ADisgruntledPelican · 31/01/2022 14:39

It just doesn't make sense that your DD would suddenly get upset on Friday night about the fact her friend looked a bit guilty hours earlier. It only makes sense if your DD knew the money was missing.

KKslidoff · 31/01/2022 14:40

Your daughter could be in on it as well, I thought.

Like others have said, get all valuables out of the way when you know she's coming. Also sit with her in the living room while she's waiting.

Motnight · 31/01/2022 14:41

@MissMaple82

I'd say it's highly suspicious of your daughter to even notice this! How would the friend know to look in the dresser? You're daughter is probably the culprit here
This was my immediate thought to be honest.
Russell19 · 31/01/2022 14:45

Your DDs friend doesn't need to come in. Either she comes 10 mins later or your DD gets ready 10 mins earlier.

BobbieT1999 · 31/01/2022 14:47

I agree I wouldn't kick off about this.

I would, however, start paying attention to see how the friend is as I'd be worried it's a sign she's going through troubling times.

Hotpinkangel19 · 31/01/2022 14:50

Definitely agree it has something to do with your daughter.

AryaStarkWolf · 31/01/2022 14:52

@MissMaple82

I'd say it's highly suspicious of your daughter to even notice this! How would the friend know to look in the dresser? You're daughter is probably the culprit here
That's what I was thinking too Grin But yeah I'd probably just leave it for the sake of a tenner
AmberGer · 31/01/2022 14:52

I also think your dd sounds more like the culprit than the friend

QuillBill · 31/01/2022 14:53

@Hotpinkangel19

Definitely agree it has something to do with your daughter.

Me too!
What kid says 'oh I saw Melanie looking suspicious near the dresser. I wonder what she was doing'.

I can understand her saying it if you had noticed the money missing and then started thinking of what could have happened to it.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 31/01/2022 14:58

@ADisgruntledPelican

It just doesn't make sense that your DD would suddenly get upset on Friday night about the fact her friend looked a bit guilty hours earlier. It only makes sense if your DD knew the money was missing.
my immediate thought too
TooWicked · 31/01/2022 15:00

I agree it’s suspicious that your DD suddenly got upset in the evening over something that supposedly happened that morning.

I would tell DD that in the short term the friend is not allowed in the house as she can’t be trusted - and your DD needs to be ready to leave the house as soon as her friend gets there, so she’ll have to start getting up earlier.

kgov1 · 31/01/2022 16:38

I also think your DDs account is suspect if she didn't know money had been taken.

bcc89 · 31/01/2022 16:50

I wouldnt trust your daughter on this one.

DillyDilly · 31/01/2022 18:33

Your daughter’s story doesn’t really add up. Upset hours later about finding her friend looking bright red and guilty.

Chances are, your DD has taken this money and is trying to blame it on her friend.

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