Is sexting and swapping nude photos cheating?

[donndo84]

Been with partner for 15 years and from the start made it clear That sex drive wast great. All was ok and fairly happy until I found chats on his iPad exchanging photos with other girls and he’s made up these fantasy lives with these people. I’m quite disgusted with him and although can’t imagine life without him how can I move on from this? Also worried he’s being scammed as these girls quite freely ask for money and wanting to know where he lives I’m beyond furious!

Yes. It is cheating.
Also the potential for financial problems.
And if it's real life - for STDs.
What are you going to do?

He sounds like a right idiot to be doing this , it most certainly is cheating on you. You have some very serious questions to ask yourself.

Raise your standards and get rid of this sleazy man.

OP - you said you don’t have much of a sex drive. What about your H?
And when you got together - what did you agree to do with his, I presume, higher sex drive?
This is a very unpopular view here - but I don’t think it’s fair for one person to assume/demand that the other person suppresses their libido over the life time.
And finding a fantasy cyber outlet for the mismatch is the safest and least damaging way of dealing with it.

When we got together he said he was ok with my low sex drive (his was higher). I get that if he wants to watch porn or whatever carry on but now it’s gone interactive and photos have been exchanged with god knows who.
We’ve talked, we’ve cried we’re gonna spend some time apart and see what happens.

It is concerning that you need to ask tbh. Have your boundaries and tolerance been worn down by feeling you should accept his behaviour or that it is somehow your fault? Is he gaslighting you to believe so?

Is it cheating ???? Of course it is. He would be out the door.

I think your H was naive and in love early in the relationship where he said he was Ok with your low libido. No one can predict how lack of sex would affect them over the years.

And I am sure you can’t relate to that as you don’t have that issue. You think sex is about physical release - and porn and masturbation is enough to compensate for the lack of physical connection with his wife.

It is actually a sad situation for all involved, And I do feel sorry for him just as well.
Instead of enjoying a healthy physical intimacy with you - he compensated by creating some fantasy cyber sex life.

If you can’t move some of your boundaries and open up your marriage to an extent - both of you will be better off separating. He can at least meet some who will be on the same page re intimacy. And maybe you can also meet someone who won’t have physical needs. So there will be no frustration on either side.

Yes it’s cheating but sad for him it’s also a scam. Honestly it just online prostitution, a business for the girls. Stupid man.

Abso-fucking-lutely it is.

I have a very narrow definition of what is actual cheating but whatever you call it, it's made you unhappy. I'm glad you're going yo be apart. You don't and shouldn't have to accept this in your life.

I'd be pretty gutted.

Only you can know if you can go on respecting and trusting him. I'd struggle tbh

I don't think all disgusting behaviour needs a label for it to be relationship ending. He's disgusting, that would be enough for me.

I hope he has been scammed. Seriously OP, have some self respect and leave. There is nothing in the world that could be a reason to excuse this behaviour.

Yes it’s cheating, and right under your nose. Yuk, it’s disgusting and you will never be able to trust him again, so if you want to save yourself anymore angst, worry and upset I’d dump his arse now if I were you.

Yes, it is 'cheating', and as PP's have said, it's likely a money scam too.

You'll never be able to be 'sure' he's not doing similar (or worse), so it's good that you're apart now, and I think it should be permanent.

To all the posters who say 'What did you expect him to do if he has a higher sex drive ?'.......

What's wrong with simple masturbation ? ( Or as the OP said, watch some published porn etc) In my opinion, cheaters cheat, and faithful couples wouldn't dream of doing 'online' or 'offline' cheating..........

Are you seriously asking if this is cheating?

So if everyone here replied and said 'no' would you be satisfied?

You know the answer to this Q.

He will carry on ultimately

Yes of course it is cheating.

Even he stopped tomorrow (and he probably can't, or won't, and you'll never know for sure) I couldn't forgive it.

He can't ever undo the fact he's cheated and lied.

Even IF he stopped tomorrow....