Talk some sense into me

[braaaiiins]

I'm involved in a hobby group chat and have been for years. In the last 2 or 3 months or so my interactions with one other user have moved to private messages and now he's coming to stay nearby, from 1000km away so we can meet in person. I'm 40 years old with two kids, have I lost my mind agreeing to meet up with him?

Yes

It depends, are you single? How much do you know about him? What have your conversations been like

I probably know more about him than if I was OLD. I've been single for a couple of years and was ok with that tbh. Our chats have been pretty extensive, both in public and privately and eventually we admitted being interested in each other. I had assumed that the distance would be too great a barrier. But apparently not to him.

Oh sorry, if you’re single then nothing wrong with it at all! Why not?

Sorry, what's the problem?

I have been single for so long and haven't dated for a long, long time. Because if we do like each other in person the practicalities and logistics are complicated to say the least. And because ultimately he's a man from the internet and could be lying albeit elaborately and extensively.

Just take it a step at a time. A first date isn’t any sort of engagement or commitment.
Just have fun and enjoy it and try not to overthink it.

My husband and I met online and everything else just went smoothly and organically

Thanks for the replies, my instinct was yes to meeting him, he ticks lots of boxes, then I started to get cold feet.

He might be lovely (it's more likely than him being a serial killer anyway). But he won't be the man you've built up an image of in your mind. It's quite possible that it'll be a disappointment for one, or both of you. Give it a shot, just don't get too invested because that can make people carry on with something they'd never have gotten into.

Also, due to the distance, what is the objective? Long distance relationships usually need an end game to have purpose. Would he consider moving closer to you eventually, or does he have ties at home? Or are you both just looking for a fwb arrangement where you just meet up every month or two af infinitum?

I’d be worried that if he’s coming all that way to see you that he might expect sex. But then maybe you’d want that anyway.