Did I do the right thing?

[Dave636987]

This is quite long.

Been friends with guy at work for 18 months. Me secretly besotted. We started messaging each other 4 months ago. Very friendly he became quite soppy on email. Very sweet. I was quite aloof but friendly.

He emailed every day. He is a very sweet and kind person.

Asked me out over christmas but I couldn't as had Covid.

He seemed so besotted I felt I had to.tell him I wanted to.take things slowly. I did make it clear that I wanted to do this. I tjink I said lets stay friends and see how it goes.

Two days later I got a message from him saying that he just wanted to be friends.

I was really devastated.

We have spoken since and I somehow ended up telling me that I had really liked him.

Part of me is kicking myself knowing I have ruined our friendship by doing this. I shouldn't have said anything.

The other part doesn't think it is unreasonable to have said this and at least now I will know if there is anything there. He hasn't said anything, just been friendly. I know from experience though that he is a man of few words and not commenting doesn't really mean anything. He is very shy.

I feel really gutted as although I know we will still keep in touch I won't be getting the lovey messages anymore.

I know I now just have to wait and will be going low contact.

How shy and confused are you? You're besotted with a man for 18 months, and when it starts being obvious he likes you back, you tell him you just want to be friends and see how it goes. He even asked you out? . Did you say "I can't because I have covid" or " Yes I'd love to but have to be in isolation for covid at the moment, after is fine" ? 2 very different meanings.
You my dear are clearly scared of dating when it comes to the crunch and have run away. No wonder he just wants to be friends after you brushed him off. Now you've told him where you are at, he'll either reciprocate ( after some thought) or think you are just messing with him ( which is the impression you've given).
Hang in there with the friendship for now, you'll find out in a bit what he thinks. He may just be the same as you and run scared, but I doubt it as he at least had the gumption to ask you out at some point.

Why did you turn down a date with him?