Inheritance

[MumWithYOPD]

2nd marriage, I have 2 adult DC, DH has 3 adult DC
His DC make questionable life choices sometimes.
I need to do a will or else everything I have goes to DH which effectively means his DC leaving my DC with nothing. I can’t decide whether to split 1/3 each - DH DC DC or 1/2 to DH and 1/4 each for DC. What have others done?

I have everything to be distributed evenly between my children and then their portion to their children if they're dead. Otherwise who knows where it ends up!! DH gets nothing. Mwuahahahahahaha

I do feel these conversations should happen before marriage & buying a house together so if you're not happy with the agreement you have an out

My estate is left to my children but the house is tenants in common with lifetime residency to protect whichever of us goes first (I'm younger though). Dp has left me 1/3 of his estate, he's a much higher earner. Both sets of dc have significant potential inheritance from other parent too, makes the decision easier.

We will review in 5 years time or sooner if we marry or financially things change. I have a fairly complicated pension set up hence my arrangements

Since the OP is married, if her DH dies intestate (without a Will) before her she will get the first £270k of his estate (incl property) and then a life interest / proportion of the rest. So hopefully would not be left homeless.

If the OP sorts her own affairs / will the people most vulnerable are her step children. And they are the DH’s responsibility.

Just crack on, OP.

I'd say leave everything between your DC but granting your DH a lifetime right to remain in the house you own jointly (I've known two people made homeless very quickly after being widowed when their adult stepchildren force a sale on their house to cash out their 50%).

However I'd want to be going to the solicitor together and making mirror image wills in that case!

If he really won't discuss making a will protection both you and his kids I'd wonder whether he already has a will leaving everything to his kids without provision for avoiding you being forced out of the house. That might disincline me from making the more complex provision unilaterally.

My DH has split his will equally between me and his adult DC . I also have the right to live in our home for ever . My will is for my DC . My DH wants nothing as I have probably 10% of what my DH has . He said he wouldn’t take a cut as the DC would be left with enough for a bag of sweets 🤣 all our DGC are treated the same , a wodge of premium bonds now .

Put your share of the home in trust for your kids with your DH able to stay there and not forced to sell, then any other assets / cash you have leave to your kids. Perhaps take out a small life insurance policy with your DH to provide cover for each other separately from any other assets you have.

All your assets should go to your kids and his to his kids.

My will leaves the house to my dh, but we also have it set in our will that whoever is left splits the house equally between all the dc upon their death.

I've also set up life insurance for my dc who split this equally on my death

I would leave everything to my kids, nothing to him or his and if he didn't stop being a stupid man I would have to consider leaving him. He is being very selfish.

Are you tenants in common?

@HomeHomeInTheRange you’re assuming he has no will. Sorry but when someone refuses to openly talk finances/ wills, something is amiss IME.

@2DogsOnMySofa do you trust your OH to not change wills in the event you pass first?
I’m sorry but wills (even mirror wills) can be changed by the surviving party after death. It’s why I would always leave everything to my DC (and not marry).

[quote sassbott]@MumWithYOPD that would make me really unsettled. Add toy sure he doesn’t have a will in place essentially awarding his estate fully to his DC? In which case where would that leave you if he was to die before you?[/quote]
This. I'd be suspicious to be honest why he kept on changing the subject. A lot of men who've been married before do exactly that - leave all their estate to their DC . His evasion could be because he's already decided what he wants to do but is scared of you finding out and challenging him why he has made no provision or security for you and he doesn't want to change this. He'll naturally assume you keep bringing it up because you want to find out what his plans are regarding you.

To get the conversation going I'd say to him that you're thinking of leaving all your estate to your kids. I'm sure he'll finally speak up then!

@MumWithYOPD in addition to what I've said above you absolutely need to know what his plans are post death because you could easily find yourself in the situation of having to find somewhere else to live at very short notice if he's willed everything to his kids. It's totally unacceptable for him not to discuss it as it may have a life changing impact on your own future.

@2dogsonmysofa

My will leaves the house to my dh, but we also have it set in our will that whoever is left splits the house equally between all the dc upon their death.

I thought that you could only specify one layer down and not two (in this case just your dh will inherit but not specifying what dh has to do. This would be entirely up to dh what he wishes to do with his inheritance. That's what our solicitor said.

[quote sassbott]@HomeHomeInTheRange you’re assuming he has no will. Sorry but when someone refuses to openly talk finances/ wills, something is amiss IME.

@2DogsOnMySofa do you trust your OH to not change wills in the event you pass first?
I’m sorry but wills (even mirror wills) can be changed by the surviving party after death. It’s why I would always leave everything to my DC (and not marry).[/quote]
We have no idea whether he has a Will or not. Of course it is irresponsible and unpartnerley of him to discuss finances, unacceptable in a marriage.

But given that he won’t, how does it change the advice to the OP: Sort out her own affairs and leave her assets to her own DC.

After reading all the comments I can confirm that I’ve decided that I’ll leave it all to my DC. I messaged his ex this afternoon and she said he was the same when they were married so I don’t think there’s a secret will anywhere. But now the ex and mother of his DC knows what I’m doing regarding my 1/2 we’re both going to have one more try separately.