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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Depressed friend

4 replies

jill881 · 30/01/2022 20:36

We've been friends for over 20 years since high school and have been through a lot together.
Since graduating from uni she's never had a job or any money of her own. Now almost 40 years old. Never married, no kids.
Lives with elderly mum.
Suffers with depression but absolutely refuses point blank to get treatment, speak to GP or have counselling. And very anti-medication.
My friend spends her time in her childhood bedroom, it's not changed much since we were teenagers. Never goes out, and has her mum running around after her. Her mum is elderly with multiple health issues of her own and no other family nearby to help. Friend's brother is in Australia and hasn't been back to visit for several years.
I'm really struggling to keep the friendship alive, a "merry christmas" message I sent on whatsapp remains unopened/unread and she's not been active on there since before Christmas.
Feel like I'm chasing her to keep in touch and feels like whenever I contact her it's just to say I'm here if you ever want to talk.. I've had a lot of stuff happening in my life last few months but haven't felt able to share with her as she seems too consumed by her depression that it would be selfish to offload on her.
Anyone in similar situations?

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 30/01/2022 20:44

Her brother went to Australia in all likelihood to also escape this household and not return.

You cannot help anyone who does not want to be helped. She does not want your help or support. There is really now no friendship to be kept alive because it’s all come from you without any reciprocation.

MichelleScarn · 30/01/2022 20:49

Is she definitely OK? Have you had any contact with her recently?

MichelleScarn · 30/01/2022 20:50

But I agree, the brother will prob have fled to Oz!

Greydove28 · 30/01/2022 21:52

This is really sad. Would it be worth going round her house to see if she is ok?

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