Want out. How?

[wantanewlife]

I want to end my marriage. It’s been a long time dead. There’s no connection between us anymore and I want more and believe there’s more out there than a dysfunctional relationship. It’s driven me to the edge of a nervous breakdown to be honest. After being a SAHM for a long time, I actually got employed which was tough as I’ve lost my confidence and I’ve found it really hard to juggle everything. I live in one of the most expensive parts of the country. My job is in a much nicer and cheaper part of the country. I want a fresh start. I’ve just started to build my life up again which is a daily struggle with huge anxiety caused by years of name calling by my husband. I want to stand on my own two feet and try to find someone I can connect with. How do I do it though? I have school aged kids. We moved to this current area for my husbands work and now I’m stuck. I have no family here and my work which I enjoy is a couple of hours away. It took me years to find a decent job with prospects. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What did you do?

First question... How are you able to work a couple of hours away with school age children?

I’m mostly WFH

WFH is excellent. Have you been able to save up some money? All you can do is keep working towards moving out and divorcing. You can do this.

I have enough money but it will be tight. How do I stand with moving close to my workplace? I’d like to set myself up there. It’s a lovely area with lots going on and I can start again. Am I tied to my current area for the next decade until kids leave school? How do people manage this kind of situation? I guess I could rent two small properties? Live between both places?

Hello OP!

Firstly, big virtual cuddle. Being stuck in a dead end relationship is soul destroying and can seem impossible. I'm finding myself in similar circumstances...

I'd maybe take a visit to some local schools in the area your considering? Explain you are looking to relocate etc etc. I'm presuming your child is still young? Kids adapt well at that age.
I'd seek support from your family, explain to them this exact scenario, you'll probably find they're able to offer support and advise!
Support during these things is so important and it was feel like a really lonely and scary place to be.

Good for you on getting back into employment, especially with your anxiety, I can 1000% relate on that, and it takes big balls, so really, well done.

It maybe an idea to initially move out of where you are, with your kid, maybe in with a parent, set a base where you are detached from your current life, then start putting into motion new schools, homes, divorce etc.

Thanks for the advice. My family are hours in the wrong direction from work so sadly that’s not an option plus they are already overcrowded. Tricky situation as whatever I do I’m doing it on my own