Time together

[Skinnyluv]

My DH genuinely doesn't see the difference between quality time together and time with the children.

We've been passing ships for most of the week, aside from a handful of family meal times spent together. We took the children out to see an elderly relative this afternoon and to the park.

I put the children to bed, whilst he showered. We said that we would try to have a date night in together on Saturday evenings where we can. I came upstairs after waiting for him downstairs for over half an hour. He's sat in his boxers on the bed, playing on his phone. I asked him why he hadn't come downstairs for us to spend a bit of quality time together and he said we had spent time together this afternoon, when we were with the children?!

I'm upset and he doesn't understand why. I think this is really concerning. What are your thoughts?

Ask him outright where he sees your marriage being when they have left home.

When me and exh bought a family home he mentioned we would only need a bungalow in the future. I felt myself physically shudder..

I'd be surprised if he could even imagine that far into the future!

He obviously doesn’t see the need to spend time together, just the two of you. He probably thinks he’s done his bit this afternoon, and deserves some time to do whatever wants.
I think you should probably get a baby sitter, turn his phone off, and go out.

It just worries me that he only sees me worthy of spending well meaning, quality time with if we're going out.

He couldn't even get his head around date nights in during lockdown.

We have no intimate time together (and I don't mean just sex either), he doesn't seem to need any.

There's not even any light hearted affection at all during the week. We're like housemates.

How about next Friday/Saturday instead of having tea with the kids together you feed them and then when they are in bed you 2 watch a film /start a series together and have some drinks and takeaway/nibbles. Tell him that's what's happening if he seems to object just tell him you feel like you are housemates rather than a couple see what he says