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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Prednisolone making my partner a jerk

26 replies

Coffeetree · 29/01/2022 18:00

Just that, really. I've just asked him to leave (we don't live together). He is being ratty, picking fights, flying off the handle, completely out of character for the man I've known for over five years.

He was prescribed prednisolone about seven months ago and hated the side effects so much he stopped taking them. He went back on them two weeks ago on his Dr's advice. Excuse me if I don't go into detail about his medical condition.

I feel bad for him but I just couldn't sit there having him grouch at me about nothing. He had a random telephone argument with his friend too (over nothing), complete with raised voice. Wtf I'd cooked a nice lunch and was sitting there looking at my food going cold while he shouted at his friend.

He dumped me after he left so I guess problem solved.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 29/01/2022 18:04

It's vile stuff my dd has it when she gets a bad chest infection but she can contain her grottyness to a degree she didn't pick fights or really fly off the handle she was massively Unreasonable for a few hours a day after she took it and very jittery

Plus as she knew she was going to be a grumpy arse she usually avoided people until she could handle them

Bienchen · 29/01/2022 18:09

DH had similar with a different steroid. We explained to his soctor and hw is doing much better on prednisolone. Doctors can prescribe a different steroid if you explain the change in personality.

Coffeetree · 29/01/2022 18:09

Yes, the "devil's candy". Really sorry about your daughter's condition. Yes, I don't want to make excuses because it's always possible to just say, "Feeling terrible, maybe see you tomorrow ".

OP posts:
Thesheerrelief · 29/01/2022 18:20

My son is on prednisolone the last few days because of asthma and he's incredibly narky. It's only for another two days which is good. Does your partner need to be on them long term?

Phrenologistsfinger · 29/01/2022 18:24

I was on it to help ttc - it made me full of artificial rage, really out of character and horrible stuff! I broke up nastily with DP 3 times in as many days Confused

blyn72 · 29/01/2022 18:25

Does your partner have to be on Prednisolone long term or is it just a short course? I would hate to be on steroids but a good friend of mine was on them for years for rheumatoid arthritis + lupus and was very well (until she developed bowel cancer and died).

converseandjeans · 29/01/2022 18:25

I was on prednisolone for around 6 months & it makes you feel really hyper when you first start taking it. Then you have to taper down gradually. When I came off it I felt awful for around a month. Completely exhausted, aching, disturbed sleep, quite down.

I don't think it made me behave like your partner. But it's not great being on them & coming off them.

Sunnytwobridges · 29/01/2022 18:28

So strange, i take prednisone for my asthma and never behaved like this. But it did make my DM mean and hateful.

Coffeetree · 29/01/2022 18:50

Sorry to hear about others' struggles. He has to be on them for at least another year.

He has had a complete personality transplant. He just purposefully showed up two hours late when he knew I'd prepared lunch, no text, coming in with, "I suppose you'll be angry I'm late, " and then revealing that instead of staying for lunch and film he had to dash off to work. In the midst of having this mysterious shouty argument with friend over the phone.

He's never been like this. I just felt like a punching bag.

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 29/01/2022 19:01

I think if he isnt even going to make an effort to control himself then he isnt for you

Coffeetree · 29/01/2022 20:40

Well he broke up with me so I guess definitely not "for me".

OP posts:
DeckTheHallsWithGin · 29/01/2022 20:44

Roid rage is a thing. I’m on prednisolone on and off very long term and I know when I’m on them my tether is very short. But my pain is very much lower. So it’s a total balancing act for me whereby I suffer pain rather than me a mardy cow. Can see how others would take the steroids and be awful however- it is very very tempting when you’ve got chronic pain and those pills make it go away.

Mumzoo5070 · 29/01/2022 20:47

Prednisolone at high doses can absolutely change your mood! I know this too well. It can be horrible.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/steroid-tablets/

RoyKentsChestHair · 29/01/2022 20:53

To be fair to him, this can be a side effect and he can’t necessarily help it any more than you can help having PMT etc

My question would be is he generally understanding and respectful if you’re not feeling 100%? If so I’d be tempted to give him the benefit of the doubt. My ex use to take this and he did have some strange reactions to it, so I was always more tolerant and understanding of his “roid rage” episodes. However he was a nasty shit about PMT and more recently perimenopause/HRT side effects so I told him to fuck off.

It sounds like you’re taking his “dumping” you as being final, but if your relationship is otherwise good then I’m sure you can talk to him about it and come up with a plan to deal with the side effects of his meds.

Dillydollydingdong · 29/01/2022 20:56

I take it for polymyalgia. Never noticed any side effects at all though.

Coffeetree · 29/01/2022 21:07

Thanks for sharing. Yes he's definitely been supportive of me. I can't talk to him because he's blocked me.

OP posts:
Coffeetree · 30/01/2022 18:59

He's just texted to say we're over because it was so disrespectful of me to tell him to leave.

He's not been looking after himself at all. I don't mind supporting him with illness but he's just randomly not taking medications and his moods are all over the place.

Hey ho

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 30/01/2022 22:39

Block his nasty arse honestly my dd really REALLY feels cross when she goes on this stuff and she manages to control herself she is just 21 and hardly the most emotionally stable of children (seriously the tears and drama of it all) so if she can control it or walk away because she recognise that she is losing it ANYONE CAN

Lpc3 · 30/01/2022 23:52

When I was on prednisolone it made me feel really good! Really positive and happy. Strange how drugs can have such different effects on people.

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/01/2022 23:55

Our son has never had that reaction.

Sorry you/he are going through this. Is there an alternative?

LoveFall · 30/01/2022 23:59

I have had to take it many times for ulcerative colitis. It is a miracle in that it controls a flare up very fast.

The devil's tic tacs is a good name. I feel very jittery, can't sleep, very emotional, and very easily upset when on it. DH hates it. I also hate it.

I am now on a biologic for my colitis and have only needed prednisone for the odd asthma attack.

It is not something you have full control over. I tend to try very hard to avoid things that I know can trigger me. It is like every emotion is magnified 100s of times.

I am sorry you have to deal with that.

Ozanj · 31/01/2022 00:05

Steroids can cause high blood pressure in people with the autoimmune conditions that require them. That can also explain some of the rage. But he should not be taking it out on anyone - he isn’t an animal or a child. He needs to find strategies to help him cope with his side effects.

me4real · 31/01/2022 00:07

Some people mightn't get this reaction, I didn't but it's not uncommon- I had a partner who was on them after a transplant and became a complete arsehole with unpredictable moods etc.

Bienchen made a good point @Coffeetree , that he could try a different steroid- if he needs to be on steroids there are probably others he can try, he needs to talk to his GP.

But it's not your responsibility and if he tries to get back with you, say that you won't until after he's spoken to a doctor and is trying something else if possible. That's if you think he's worth another go (it's not compulsory of course, especially after how he's behaved.)

housemdwaswrong · 31/01/2022 00:20

I agree in theory that he shouldn't be t asking it out on others but for me, in practise, it's impossible. I take high dose every 3/4 months as my lupus is boring uncontrollable. They make me vile. Tearful, anxious and angry. I can manage it in so far as taking myself out of situations, but people glibly suggesting he should control himself don't understand the huge psychological changes that pred can cause in higher doses, including severe reactive depression and steroid induced psychosis. Whilst some people can manage it, if he can't, no amount of insisting he should will help. The last course I had I was on phone to GP crying uncontrollably telling her she had to do something.

There aren't really any alternatives to pred. They are what they are. Prednisone and prednisolone are the same thing essentially though metabolised differently sonthat may help, but perhaps a steroid shot is possible depending on condition.

I'm curious rough if he needs to be on them.long term how he can stop for 7 months. That makes me wonder if they are essential to begin with, and if a different steroid sparing regime could be investigated instead?

LoveFall · 31/01/2022 00:44

I have found myself in a very, very bad flareup, barely able to function, because I was so resistant to going on prednisone again.

In the end, the relief it gave me was incredible. I just turned into Atilla the Hunette (ha ha).

To me, one of the worst thing is it makes me gain weight, rapidly. I lie awake at night craving peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Resistance is futile.

My poor Dad had to take a similar drug when he had a blood cancer. Ruined his sleep. He was quite pragmatic but did say to me that he asked the doctor for help with it and they gave him a pamphlet saying go for a walk before bed. It didn't help.