Bad break up need advice

[Kors]

Hi all

Need some advice, so we was together a year every thing was good, but he could not stop talking about his exes, he had there pictures on social media, he would not remove he didnt have them blocked, some exes even called him and he would speak to them, very early in the relationship he even said he was with a male friend to her but Infact was with me, I know a ex drunk txt him but rather than ignor her he then had full on conversations with her asking how the kids was doing, I eventually found out asked him to block her calmly and not contact her he refused this. I then contacted the ex maybe not a good move to see what was going on she said he txt her and she wants nothing to do with him, after this his ex contacted my partner to let him know, a mth had gone by and he decided to come out and tell me she had called him, I saw red and said it was over , if he choose to keep this contact, things got very heated he decided to txt the ex while I was still there and refused to show me what was getting said and said was nothing to do with me, and told me where to go, i through a candle which smashed in temper not a good idea as I’m a very calm person and that’s not me we have never had a fight or argued in the past he then decided to drag me around and his 15 year old son was there, I left and we have not spoken since but through a mutual friend he has said what went on was unforgivable and he’s no intentions of speaking with me again. He is a womaniser and he likes attention from any woman, he has had similar failed relationships in the past all leaving as he won’t stop talking about exes or having woman msg him from social media . In the year we was together he never posted any thing regarding us on his Facebook wouldn’t tell exes he was in a new relationship so was all these red flags ? He said 3 month ago he loved me was this that bad that he can’t go back ? Or to even speak with me again or it just a excuse he wanted. By the way social media isn’t a big thing for me as I’m not on it but he posted plenty with the ex he still I contacted with they was together roughly 8 mth but he seemed quite bothered about her when he would talk about her, I never brought up my past and it did really annoy me he did this and I think it was a build up to that night when it exploded

Sounds like a lucky escape OP, why on Earth would you want to have sole rights over such a loser???

@Kors
Looks like you throw this one back where he belonged at the bottom of the garbage heap. Hope his son does not turn out like him watching his dad treat women like that.

Yes I think he is very good at manipulating and making out was all my fault he’s twisted things around to say he can have some one around his son who behaves like I do no mention of what he did to me

His son is lovely but very easily lead by his dad he also is lying for his dad saying he did not drag me around I have spoke with the boys mother and she said her ex is vile and a bully and was only a matter of time before I seen it

So what do you want advice on? Why you let him walk all over you? Why you let him flirt, see and talk to exes? Why he's ended it, when all along it should of been you dumping his ass?

Well I did finish him that night I left I said that in the post I suppose I’m thinking wether this was right as he seemed to normalise the situation and was me overreacting and I was jealous over a ex which isn’t true, plus now he’s kinda flipped it to say he won’t talk to me again to mutual friends like I’m the bad one

Job done then OP, he and his attempts at twisting things aren’t worth another thought surely?

People like this will always flip the script. He dragged you about the place....what makes you think he'd be someone who tells the truth or takes responsibility for his behaviour? You're feeling bad about it because he wants you to....he wants you to be the one in the wrong. The one who was overjealous. These are his excuses and you're taking them on yourself. Dont !

Yes think I am been hard on myself, basically I’ve came away thinking I shouldn’t of confronted him, but I was not happy with what he was doing, I do regreat ovs loosing my temper but he was far worse! I’m not sure he was looking for a way out any way, When so after spending a year together I do feel down with the situation, I’ve heard on the through other people he has got some one else round already not even a week has gone by

I would read up on narcissism.

That's what men who have this trait do: gaslighting (making you think you are the one who is wrong and trying to make you doubt your reality), feeding on the admiration of others (which is why they are always looking at/trying to seduce other women), playing one woman against another to keep them insecure (hence the contact with exes). twisting the narrative to present themselves as the victim. Usually they have a pattern of short term relationships that all end up the same way.

Cut contact with him. Men like this only bring trouble.

To be honest you're no better than him from what I can make out. You threw a candle in front of his 15 year old and started demanding to look at his messages? How is that any less controlling / abusive. And I say this as someone who has been in an abusive relationship.

Yes his ex wife said he was a narcissist and been violent to her in the past, she knows more than I do as I’ve not spoken to any one else he’s dated but she has said it’s always the same story he txts and calls other woman, winds them up try’s to make them jealous then the other person snaps apparently he’s had lots of relationships end badly with similar reasons why so yes I think he’s best left to get on with his self and let some one else have the problem,

Well done. Block the twat is you haven't already.