I'm 34 and in a loveless marriage.
We have 2 young children.
We have discussed separating and agreed it could be the best option. Made plans to separate, but DH kept stalling which made it difficult to make plans to move on. He said he would move out as he has somewhere to go and I don't, but then didn't move out. We agreed to share the children equally, agreed our childcare days etc, then he wouldn't leave. I said we should put the house up for sale, he found every reason not to, stopped me getting valuations in.
So, We are now taking time out, whilst living under the same roof to really think about what we want, to see if we can both committ to making it work.
There is no affection, no love, no togetherness at all and he seems content with it. We sleep separately and have done for 2 years on and off.
He keeps making small talk with me as if all is fine, and I can't bear it. Asking me mundane questions like "what did you eat for lunch?" "Were you busy at work?" But nothing ever gets better than that, which is just how it was even before we were taking this time out to consider what we want to do. Nothing has changed despite all these talks,, I'm back in the rut. He keeps finding excuses to call me to ask me mundane questions, but there are no attempts made at affection at all.
I just need some love back in my life. I'm tired of living like this, but also scared to make the big steps that I know I'll need to make to actually separate from him. We're supposed to be having ",thinking time" between now and Mid-february but I can see already, that it's just forced us both back into a familiar rut.
What should I do?