unsupported DH - aka useless

[J417]

We have just relocated to a new area and wanting to buy our first home. DH just did NOTHING, NOTHING absolutely

Every research is done by me, he knew nothing about the processes, nothing about EPC, nothing about prices in surrounding area, where the school catchment is, nothing about building control and planning permission.

So stressed to make every decisions on my own
And house prices keep increasing ...
Crying

Have you made an offer on a house or are you still searching?
Is your DH normally like this?
Do you think he does it because he's lazy or disinterested or incompetent?

I know this is harsh, but consider why you want to buy a house with a person who - at best - is disinterested and useless.

Why would you do that to yourself?

Leave things for him to do and wait until he does them

I went through this with my ex and unfortunately at the time I did not see it as a massive red flag and a sign of things to come.

I believed all his excuses about not having bought a house before so he was less sure of himself, he didn't know the areas as well as I did, he was busy with work etc etc. The reality was that he could have researched or asked for advice or whatever, he just preferred leaving it all to me.

I would recommend choosing perhaps three or four tasks that he could take responsibility for chasing up / researching and deciding both a reasonable deadline and a generously reasonable deadline to get them done. Tell your husband that these are his things to deal with, and give him the reasonable deadline.

If he hasn't done them by the reasonable deadline make it really clear to him that they need doing urgently as they're overdue to be done. Keep in mind the deadline that you originally thought was generously reasonable.

If he hasn't done the things he was meant to do by then, you should probably cut your losses as he is clearly not motivated to move forward. If you keep going by yourself, you'll have to drag him along with you and end up resenting him.