Sorry for such a long post but I have nobody that I can talk to & could really do with some advice.. I been with my husband for 24 yrs & When I was 5 months pregnant I caught him secretly videoing me naked while sleeping. It was not the first time I thought he was videoing me but first time I caught him in the act. We had a blazing row I threatened to leave but with me 5 months pregnant at the time, I eventually forgave him & let it go. Then 8 years later again thinking was he videoing me, at night but had not caught him, until I came in from work & while I was getting dressed he had his phone sticking up out of his pocket with video on & I noticed.. Again I was so upset resulting in a massive row & me demanding he leave and moves out he was on couch for 6 weeks, after 6 weeks we had a family holiday already booked & went as kids were excited & we were keeping normality at home for the kids , but this resulted in us sharing a bed on holiday, and yip back to where we were. Now again, 6 years after that, I had suspected him videoing me & yes caught him at it. Its been 14 years since I first caught him . I know you think well what did you expect but he seriously is the nicest and best dad to our kids and perfect in every other way. I should also mention its a vicious circle because while he does his videoing crap I hate him so much he makes my skin crawl I don't have sex as I can't bring myself to, so we would have sex once every 6/8 weeks. So perhaps it's his sexual frustration through lack of sex on my behalf. I should also say that I was abused by my uncle for a number of years as a child, the ONLY person I confided in at the time was my older brother who I looked up to, & was shocked when all he did was laugh when I told him about my uncle & guess what, he shoved me on the bed and try to put his hand up my dress saying what does he Do? While my husband does not know the full extent of my abuse as a kid, he is aware so he knows how difficult I have in trusting men. I actually feel broken at the moment, I feel I know my husband won't change after all its 14 years since I first discovered. But he has asked would I help him that he doesn't know why he does it etc. We are both from abroad so have no family and no close friends although I would be too embarrassed to speak to anyone about this. I have once again told him we are over but part of me does think should he/we try counselling, but don't think now I could ever trust him again even if he never did it again surely I would never 100% trust him so what is the point of going for councelling. Should we try counselling, or do you think we are gone past the point of rescueing as I say I love him in every other way I would of said we were soul mates. If only I hated him it would be so much easier. Please can you not judge me for taking him back just wanted to ask what you would do try counselling or am I making too much out of this he is my husband afterallThanking you for taking time to read.