Swift advice needed please.

[freckles20]

I'm On holiday with my husband and my 14-year-old son and 12 other family and friends.

Last night my partner had quite a lot to drink which is unusual for him. He said some really unkind things along the lines of him putting more into our relationship than me, me me not being affectionate enough and me not wanting to have sex enough etc etc. He Seemed really upset about the fact that I always stay up later than him. He chooses to go to bed at 10 o'clock because he works really hard and is tired. I sometimes relish that last hour of peace by myself and also prefer to know that my son is asleep before I go to bed.

We have had a very tough year. My son has struggled with his mental health, and has suicidal ideation. 03 so it's difficult to sleep until I know he is asleep, I often have to check on him multiple times a night to check he is safe.

I have some problems with irregular bleeding every single day which are being investigated and also a breast lump that I'm waiting for an appointment for next week (GP has told me it is precautionary and he's not v worried but it is still a worry too be on the 'two / six week wait').

So I am stressed and I'm doing my best.

I can't bear to speak to him today. I am swinging between feeling angry and tearful. His family are quite judgemental and I would prefer for them not to get caught in the middle of this. I am not close to anyone here.

I feel like my only option is to protect myself by going quiet.

How can I explain to him that I need to be quiet? I know The silent treatment not ok but right now I don't know what else to so. I just want to get through today and tonight and get home.

How can I give 'the silent treatment' without being cruel?

No advice, other than look after yourself and your son....... but don't let him draw you into further 'discussions'/arguments.

I hope you'll be able to get through the rest of this holiday without further confrontations and abuse - and get to go home soon

Does you ds want to be on the trip? If not then make plans to leave early. Use the time to spend some time on your own and decide if this relationship is healthy for you.

OP, I'm sorry for what you're going through It sounds as though your partner resents your attention being focused on your son and his MH issues. That's not ok, he should be supporting you through it too. I would be asking my partner if we could try to resolve it after the holiday with some privacy.

Apologies because I'm derailing the thread here: I have some problems with irregular bleeding every single day which are being investigated

If you haven't yet had a hysteroscopy, please read this first.
www.hysteroscopyaction.org.uk

This is not to alarm you - quite the opposite. Forewarned is forearmed. x

Your husband is just begging for a massive row, isn't he? What a prick.

Tbh op he sounds like a bully. Normal people try to resolve arguments, not extend them via text, on holiday.

I wonder if he has form for running holidays and festive periods? Narcissistic dickheads often do.

Tbh op, I think you might be in an abusive relationship.

I mean, him complaining about lack of sex when you are ill is pretty cruel.

Also, he begrudge you any private space abd time. That's another big red flag. Abusers don't like you having time to yourself to recuperate from their bs.

Amd perhaps the biggest red flag is that you are terrified that any of your actions might be misunderstood (and subsequently, used as a stick to beat you with).

This man does not sound like a nice person op. And he seems to resent your child too. Probably time to get rid of him. (...not in a push him of the slopes kinda way...though that might be tempting xD just a regular dumping)

I agree with the fact that he's being a bully. He's chosen to say all this whilst you are away with HIS family. You have no allies on this trip and he knows it. It's horrible. My ex dumped me on the ferry when we went on a group trip to France. I was stuck with him for the next 2 days. I was desperate to leave but not in a position to.

I almost wonder if he's deliberately chosen the holiday to let this all come out. Whether intentional or not, it's a horrible thing to do to you while you're away with his family and friends. It seems almost calculated.

Had it just been the one off drunken rant maybe that could be explained away but the follow up text suggests this could be it for your tell relationship (assuming you're not going to tolerate being treated horribly). I'd do what you need to do to protect any money you have in joint accounts in the next couple of days.