Not a mum, but I'm completely fed up

[Anondad35]

Never posted to anything like this before but here goes..not sure how it will come out but I'll just type...

I'm a dad to a girl(20 months) and a boy (4) and live with my partner and I have pretty much been doing everything for the 1/2 years +.

I work from home, yet I still get up with the kids, get son ready for school, take him, pick him up, look after daughter until partner wakes up (any time between 11 and 2pm normally) and even then she isn't much help. I change every nappy, make every drink (kids and adults), the washing, dinner, the majority of the cleaning, school run, bathtimes, bedtimes you name it, while she will watch tele or play on her phone or something (in bed most of the time)

And yet she still critisieses constantly.
Got forbid I put away a t-shirt in the trouser drawer, or if I forget to put salt on her dinner or something stupid like that....

She always wants sex but its always one sided, barely any foreplay for me, never any oral, and then teases me about it but expects it all from me..

I'm drained, I'm barely keeping up with the housework anymore, I'm not getting much done working from home, and I'm always always tired

She's depressed and on medication but so am I... she has mentioned suicide in the past.. I just don't know what to do

You remind me very much of a relative of mine, only he has been stupid enough to have had 4 children with a nightmare of a woman. Their children are older now and all are damaged in various ways. I wouldn't wait another week to get yourself and your children out of this scenario, it is deeply damaging to them and staggeringly unfair to you. No doubt she does have mental health issues but as is so often said here, you have can have a dual diagnosis of mental illness and asshole.

Reverse !

Is this a reverse?

Oh look at the predictable replies that she must be depressed.

If a woman posted this everyone would be screaming that she is in an abusive relationship.

OP this is no way to live. Get your ducks in a row and leave her and take the kids with you.

She's depressed, yet still has a libido - that's odd. Mostly, with depression, a person's libido goes. It sounds actually as though she's taking the piss and being idle. Wake her up at a reasonable time, and get her to do things. And she watches tv or plays on her 'phone, whilst you're doing everything? There is absolutely no need for her to be in bed until lunchtime/early afternoon!

You need to get tough with her, she's taking you for a mug, the lazy cow.

This sounds like a piss take to me

Does she, aye?

@drpet49

Oh look at the predictable replies that she must be depressed.

If a woman posted this everyone would be screaming that she is in an abusive relationship.

OP this is no way to live. Get your ducks in a row and leave her and take the kids with you.

No one on here can diagnose her. The op himself has said she’s got depression and anxiety and rarely gets out of bed. Even the people who have acknowledged her depression have generally pointed out she’s still lazy and abusive. I do hope the op recognises this and puts his foot down with her, I think I’d have a breakdown if I had to cope with all that

@HappyGoLuckyLuLu

Hair you discussed this with your DP? Sounds like a conversation is needed about how things can improve for both of you & maybe get some outside help if you can afford (cleaner etc)

Why should they get a cleaner so she can lie in bed til 2pm then spend the rest of the day watching tv or looking at her phone

This is a male reverse piss take

I think her depression sounds bad, tho she is unfair on you, and meds can make you sleepy.
She needs a review of meds, and you need an equal, and a life

Tell us more.

You see to be in a very unique situation indeed.

Surely! Just doesn't read right at all.

Whichever way round is the true way, one parent is absolutely taking the piss. There's no way I'd tolerate being treated like that. Better off without!

I suspect a reverse.
Either way things are very skewed and hard conversations need to be had.