Hurt feelings :-(

[Thatwassurreal]

So I’m 34 and have an 18months dd.

I have had pretty intense PND since she was born.

My dad keeps making comments that I should have another baby. He says it pretty innocently as in my Dd is so lovely would it be lovely to have another. I’ve told him I don’t think I can safely have another but I don’t think he gets it. I think he thinks I’ll change my mind.

He also made a comment today when my sister was playing with my Dd that my sister is such a natural with kids (she has 3). It just made me feel like I’m not a natural. I guess I’m not - I’ve found being a mum so hard.

I know he means well and he’d never want to hurt my feelings intentionally but I wish he could accept that I have been really quite unwell and am so completed by Dd.

Yeah my dad was similar. I had shocking PND and my dad was all, why are depressed? You’ve got a lovely husband, a lovely baby, somewhere nice to live. I just said it’s not as simple as that Dad. Mental health/ illness/ pregnancy/ anything woman was a closed book to him even though he had many good qualities bless him. Is there anyone that could have a word in his ear that these comments are hurtful to you? I’m sure as you say he doesn’t mean to be hurtful. My dad didn’t either but he was, at times. It’s very hard as it’s just at the time you have no bandwidth to be making allowances for other people’s limits of understanding, but need that understanding and consideration yourself. Sending thoughts and to you. I hope you feel better very soon.

I don’t think his comment towards your sister was meant as a dig towards you. Maybe he just doesn’t understand depression very well, I find the older generation unfortunately don’t. You will get through this

@username1293948

I don’t think his comment towards your sister was meant as a dig towards you. Maybe he just doesn’t understand depression very well, I find the older generation unfortunately don’t. You will get through this

Yes. Because none of us ever suffered from it.

Regardless of his reasoning, your future family plans are none of his business.

He needs totally shutting down. Be rude if you have to - 'Dad, please butt out. DH and I will decide if and when we want any more children. '

Does your mum comment?