Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

I'm so bloody tired of oh - lighthearted, maybe..

25 replies

Gooliekicker2 · 26/01/2022 19:51

Namechange cos my sisters on here!
I may talk shite every so often, granted, but the muppet I married "corrects" me constantly at the moment and I'm so over it, I could scream.
The other day he argued with me over the name of a place I was talking about with friends. I was right, but he still had to make it look and feel like I'm an idiot.
Tonight he took a comment about our kittens (8 months old, eating like horses so I compared them to teenagers) and had to correct me, as "in no way are they close to being teenagers in cat years".
It goes on and on and on...a "normal" conversation is like fucking fencing. When I show I'm irritated, I get told how I'm just sulking and don't like him having a different opinion. Ffs, I don't want a lecture every time I speak, that's what I don't want.

I don't want to talk to him any more, at all. I'm sick of it.

Do I LTB or poison his tea?

OP posts:

Bonster37 · 26/01/2022 20:05

I had that issue too for a bit. The straw that broke the camels back was when he kept correcting me on a night out with my sis and her husband. I politely asked him to stop correcting me when we were on our own but he didn’t. When we got home, I told him that if he ever did that again I was gone. I said I did not give a shit what his reasoning was. Just said don’t care as he tried to explain away and not accept responsibility. You have to get mad and mean it.

Derelicthome · 27/01/2022 01:42

You don’t have children? Then I wouldn’t bother trying to salvage the relationship.
He thinks you’re an idiot and not his equal.

RicherThanYew · 27/01/2022 01:55

Oh dear. I had a friend like this once Op, she was so bad that by the end of the friendship I called her Mrs Well-actually, it's a nightmare. I used to test her to see if it was deliberate by saying something objective like "it's stopped raining now" and she would respond with "well actually it may have stopped raining for now but it will start again within the hour so we won't actually have any dry weather will we?" you don't need to poison his tea, just very strong laxatives should clear him of all the shit that he seems full of

IcicleIcicle · 27/01/2022 02:01

He needs to seriously consider the answer to this question; does he want to be right, or does he want to be happy? People who have to be right push others away and often end up lonely, sounds like that's where he's heading if he's not careful.

georgarina · 27/01/2022 02:20

Cannot stand that. DF does it. He came over and argued with me about the name of a cafe at the end of my street (I've lived here 5 years). No consideration I might have an idea what I was talking about, just straightforward insistence I was wrong and being silly. Obviously I was right which meant if was glossed over and on to the next thing.

SO infuriating.

updownroundandround · 27/01/2022 07:12

Next time, and every time he does it, turn to face him and ask him ''Did you actually think I said the cats were teenagers/ the cafe was called XYZ ?? and laugh at him like he's the stupidest person on the bloody planet for misunderstanding you !

If he tries to 'correct' you when with others ?
Smile brightly at the others and say ''Geeze, listen to him, trying to tell me what I meant !'' And laugh AT him loud and hard !
The 'others' will assume it's a 'joke' and laugh with you, and he'll be left looking like a bloody prat ! (which he is !)

If he persists, start calling him the ''fun police'' or ''fun sponge'' or the ''accuracy checker'', (and start directing all your conversations towards the cats !)and point out, to the cats, that some people miss the fact that the point of conversation/stories and social interaction in relationships and social situations isn't about 100% 'accuracy', it's about fun, laughter, enjoyment, sharing...............which he is ruining by his behaviour ffs !

If he does it in front of friends, jokingly say ''Hang on guys, we need to make sure everything we say now is 100% fact checked, otherwise Bob here will get his knickers in a twist again, LOL LOL !''

Hopefully he will be able to 'read the room' and realise that he's not coming across well, to anyone, but if not, you should rethink your 'relationship', because that kind of pedantic and insistent 'behaviour' will only annoy you more as time passes.......

Above all, tell him No-one likes a 'know it all'

frozendaisy · 27/01/2022 08:00

Everything @updownroundandround said.

I used to blow slow directed raspberries when corrected which is much more childish I admit (still don't if need arises) @updownroundandround's advice much more grown up but similar philosophy!

forlornlorna · 27/01/2022 08:04

Now my dd does this. Infuriating! Now I give her some slack as she's ASD and is usually bloody right in her corrections argh lol but I've taken to just replying with "did I ask!?"

She'd defo be my phone a friend on who wants to be a millionaire though lol

HaroldMeeker · 27/01/2022 10:06

We once lost a pub quiz because my DH wouldn't accept I knew the answer to a question and write it down - we would have been the only team who got it right too.. The prize was £100 voucher and I've never let him forget it. I rub his nose in it at every opportunity....

19Bears · 27/01/2022 12:15

Oh god, I was just about to add this exact comment, @HaroldMeeker I can't believe it's happened to someone else!!

Amongst all the crap I've put up with over the years, him being right about everything is one of the many annoying things, and I wish I'd nipped it in the bud with the pub quiz incident which was only about a year into our relationship when we'd just bought a house. A house near the pub where I thought we'd be able to have a lovely time going to quiz night together. But this was the first time and the last. The answer was Charlize Theron, but he insisted her name was Charlene and that he's "the one who knows about films" and would not accept me saying we should really put Charlize or we'd get it wrong. I gave in and he put Charlene, and we obviously got it wrong and lost out on something like £30. I wasn't bothered about that, but I was bothered that he went in such a huff about me correcting him, which I did lightheartedly, and that I ended up crying and embarrassed. I've never mentioned it since.

HaroldMeeker · 27/01/2022 14:18

Oh boy, mine was a film question too! Before LOTR was released, it asked who played the character Saruman. Of course it was Christopher Lee. He insisted it couldn't be as Christopher Lee was dead. We were in a team of 4, and the other 2 just let him brush my knowledge aside. I was so mad!!!

Coldiron · 27/01/2022 20:18

One year I went to my clubs quiz night on my own. I knew plenty other people there but they decided the teams should be couples so I ended doing the quiz on my own.

I ended up winning, although I did acknowledge that I had an unfair advantage - I was the only person unencumbered by a husband

HaroldMeeker · 27/01/2022 23:10

Oh how revealing, Coldiron!

NarcissistsEyebrows · 27/01/2022 23:36

I know this thread is meant to be lighthearted but it really breaks my heart to think of all the lovely women across the country being spoken down to by men just because they think they will be right

And the fact then when it's proved they are actually wrong, the women have to keep quiet and not point this out in case they get all upset again

THIS in and of itself tells me this country is so so far from being equal.

Why they fuck do we women put up with it?

It makes me sad and angry

And now I've become that poster. But I'm right aren't I?

updownroundandround · 28/01/2022 06:13

Yes, you are @NarcissistsEyebrows !!

litterbird · 28/01/2022 06:22

Goodness, I was only talking to my partner about this yesterday. I have a friend who does exactly this. Its getting worse and I am slowly stepping away from the friendship as I just cant have a normal conversation with her. She tries to correct everything even if I know its wrong. I have stopped trying to re correct her now and just smile and nod. I cant possibly imagine being married to or in a close relationship with someone who does this. I only see my friend a couple of times a week and she was over yesterday. Its exhausting and I really cant be arsed with the relentless strange conversations I have with her. Sorry you are going through this OP. In my experience with my friend it just gets worse. If this is causing you to feel exhausted, uninterested in communication with your OH then you need to re evaluate your own life and where you want to be and with whom.

TalkedTooMuchStayedTooLong · 28/01/2022 07:39

OMG yes... the quiz thing... my XH and I used to do a regular pub quiz with friends... the only time we ever won was a week he was away as we didn't have his confident assertion that he was right all the time overruling our answers! We never let him forget it...

SomewhereOnlyIKnow · 28/01/2022 07:44

My DH is like this, always has to prove he’s right. He will even Google and then show me how right he is.
I don’t care if I was wrong, we’re all wrong sometimes, but he looks like a real knob having to prove a point.
And definitely LTB !

thenewduchessoflapland · 28/01/2022 08:13

Thé word I'd use to describe your DH here is condescending.It's definitely not a nice quality to have especially when it makes a loved one feel abit shit.

thenewduchessoflapland · 28/01/2022 08:15

@NarcissistsEyebrows

I know this thread is meant to be lighthearted but it really breaks my heart to think of all the lovely women across the country being spoken down to by men just because they think they will be right

And the fact then when it's proved they are actually wrong, the women have to keep quiet and not point this out in case they get all upset again

THIS in and of itself tells me this country is so so far from being equal.

Why they fuck do we women put up with it?

It makes me sad and angry

And now I've become that poster. But I'm right aren't I?

It's because the bar is set at ankle height for men.

MangoSeason · 28/01/2022 08:21

My son is like this. It is so tiresome. I am now going to send nothing but this meme when class teachers at the start of the school year send out their request to parents to tell them a bit about their child.

I'm so bloody tired of oh - lighthearted, maybe..

19Bears · 28/01/2022 09:45

You are absolutely right @NarcissistsEyebrows 100%
Only this morning he had the radio on and the presenter said "next caller is from Ampfield. Ampfield? Where's that?"

"Liverpool" says dh, in a condescending voice.

Presenter - "Ampfield? Never heard of it, where is that?" Fair enough, I've never heard of it either.

Dh - "Liverpool" with even more condesenscion and exasperation than the first time.

I'm thinking it's quite clear that if he was saying Anfield then the presenter would very likely know it was Liverpool, and that he's obviously not saying Anfield. But I didn't say a word. My son was looking across at him too as if he was thinking 'here we go again.'

Caller from Ampfield - "It's in Hampshire."

Silence from dh.

It's just things like this that really really wind you up, isn't it

herbaceous · 28/01/2022 10:02

How have you all not killed these people?

CheshireChat · 28/01/2022 10:17

MangoSeason hah, I'm so saving that as I'm having the same issue with my DS (being assessed for ASD but still!).

19Bears · 28/01/2022 10:26

I dunno about everyone else, @herbaceous but I blame my ridiculous over-patience which has got me nowhere in life!!!!

Funnily enough, I have just got a text off an old friend describing dh (who he only ever met once) as 'disinterested and superior' Ha ha! I nearly fell off my seat at the coincidence of this chat and that comment!!

Flip