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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Stupid Arguments - Bigger Problem?

7 replies

FaintGirl · 29/12/2007 00:28

Me and my DH have just had yet another blazing row. This time it was about bog roll.

For the past 4 months or so we have argued constantly about ridiculous things, stuff that most people laugh about. Last week we had a massive row over pet food, we later laughed when we realised how stupid it was but I swear at the time if someone had placed divorce papers in front of us we would have both willingly signed.

Today we were walking around tesco and DH said "we need some bog roll". I said "no its ok, we have some". DH said "no we definately need some, I checked" I said "we dont need bog roll, I bought some yesterday" so he asked where it was so I said it was in the bathroom obviously so he said "no, I checked, we must have ran out, I'll go and get some". so I shouted at him "we dont need any bog roll!" and an old woman tutted at me but he makes me so mad, he always has to be right.

Anyway I ignored him, he disapeared and I assumed he'd gone for bog roll and decided I wouldnt react when he brought it...anyway he reappeared with a bottle of whiskey. I was pleased that he had decided to drop the subject then as we went past the bog roll he shouted "oh! bog roll! two minutes..." and ran off to get some .

I was so annoyed with him and I know it sounds stupid but its like he does it on purpose to wind me up. Why would he want to cause arguments with me though??

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 29/12/2007 00:36

And was there bog roll at home?

FaintGirl · 29/12/2007 00:37

yes, like I knew there was, I'd litrally bought it the day before.

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 29/12/2007 00:38

Maybe he genuinely couldn't see it? Though I find it very strange that he didn't just take your word for it!!

1sue1 · 29/12/2007 03:42

Is this one of those 'Hmmm, let's see how many times I can get the words 'bog roll' in a post?

If so, I think you've beaten the record.

FlllightAttendant · 29/12/2007 07:46

This sounds like a typical power struggle. He is testing who is in charge, and so are you. If you are both able to laugh about it later that is cool. Don't worry. It should settle down once you are married

indiemummy · 30/12/2007 13:04

Hi Faintgirl, sorry no advice but me and dp have the same problem! I understand! It's all about control. It's always him starting it and winding me up and blaming me and making me feel rubbish. He always has to be right, & never ever apologises. He talks to me as though I am stupid. But if I try to pull him up on something and say, 'hang on, you can't talk to me like that' he accuses me of starting an argument. If it turns out that he was wrong, he'll just say 'forget it', leaving me burning with anger, and he calls me the irrational / moody one.

I have no idea what I am doing or what is going on with my relationship, but thought I would post here - will watch to see if anyone has any suggestions!

Listen we can't keep letting them get away with this - if we say there is bog roll, they must listen to us and trust that there is bog roll. This is ridiculous. These men don't trust or respect us they only trust and respect themselves. GRRR! How can we change them? Good luck x

dee24 · 31/12/2007 09:26

If you can laugh about it afterwards I wouldn't worry.

My situation is the same as indiemummy, but we never laugh about it afterwards and it leaves me in the most awful mood. With him then trying his best to make everything be my fault (he never does anything wrong....) and generally make me feel rubbish. It makes me even more angry as I am waiting on treatment for graves disease which does make you very anxious and generally feel rubbish anyway! He just doesn't care

Going out for the new year tonight but we have both decided to call it a day afterwards, I can't take anymore of it and he doesn't think he does anything wrong and says he wont change. So his answer is basically that I should sit quietly and take his crap or it won't work. Well sod that!

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