Dsis introducing too many men to DC?

[Tufty383]

Please don't jump on me saying this is none of my business, I love my sister dearly and my nephews too. I'm not over bearing and if I do say anything to her it's because I want the best for them all and she does actually listen to me (on occasion!) and come to me for advice (but often doesn't listen). I'm just looking for some impartial opinions please.

Dsis has always struggled with relationships. She has no trouble meeting men, they seen lovely at first, she falls in love fast and then it inevitably goes pear shaped. My concern is her 2 boys. Her eldest is 12, NC with his violent dad. She left him when her DS was 2yrs old. Since then she's introduced her DS to 5 different men, so 5 men in 10 years. They quickly become part of the family, they spend all their free time together, often the men have kids of their own and my nephews have bonded with them. Her youngest DS is now 4 and he does see his dad.

The boys seem absolutely fine, there's obviously upset when the relationships end but they seem to bounce back from it. I'm concerned they're storing up issues for the future and I wonder if I should gently tell her to have a break from dating and focus on her boys especially as the eldest is hitting his teens.

Would this concern any of you?

I think it's up to her really. It's really hard as a single parent to meet someone and build up a solid enough relationship where you'd introduce them to your children when they're NC with their parent so you don't get any alone time to date. If you're really concerned maybe you could offer to babysit weekly to give her time to get to know men before introducing them to her kids?

I’m not sure you can say much without offending her, I agree with above maybe offer to baby sit?

Its tough as my sister did the same, every new bloke was involved right from the off and it was intense until it wasnt. My sisters eldest who is her DS is NC with her now. Not sure if it was a build up of different 'dads' or her not being able to be on her own and palm the kids off to anyone. But he is and kids grow up and make their own choices. Being a single parent isnt an excuse from introducing your kids to random blokes. You can keep them separate

I offer to baby sit all the time, as do our parents and DC 2 dad has both boys on occasion but she still rushes into things. I think she's desperate for the 'complete' family, I wish she could see that she's enough for the boys and to just give them some time.

I can totally relate to this as my sister is very similar , one relationship to another . I have tried telling her to keep kids and dating separate for a while , she takes no notice at all and from what you have said I'm not sure your sister will take much notice either unfortunately.