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[pixiepip]

Just curious really- someone in my family is looking for a partner and belongs to a few dating sites. He is adamant that he does not want anyone with kids, no matter what age- though possibly over 21 is okay! He is in his mid 40s btw.

He has no children and doesn't want any either his own or anyone else's.

IMO he will be lucky to find anyone like this, and I try to persuade him to be more flexible- but no luck.

Have any of you got friends who feel the same- that is, women who never want kids (not that I am asking for details, lol)- and if you are a single mum yourself, so you find that men are willling to accept you and your kids?

yes, i have a couple of friends (women) who absolutely don't want to have kids.

warthog- thank god for that! I was beginning to think they didn't exist - he is constantly being chased by women with 6 kids who are wanting a father for their kids.

Hi Pixiepip

I don't have any friends or family members (female) who DEFINATELY don't want kids. In my experience most of the women I know feel they do want kids but only in the the right circumstances. Several woman I know at work in their late thirties use dating sites and they both actively want someone who feels the same.

Thats not to say such a aoman doesn't exist but i think your friend will have to be much more fexible in other ways (i.e age etc) if he wants a reasonable prospect of meeting soemone. Out of interest, has he said why he objects so strongly to meeting someone with kids? Would this include someone with adult children?

Hi sadlonely......

He has said and I have to say that I don't see eye-to-eye with him on this!

Basically, he likes his freedom- being able to do what he wants on a whim, without bothering about child care etc etc. He says he has seen so many of his mates' lives taken over with domesticity etc.

He also doesn't want the emotional responsibility of being in a step-father type relationship.

Re. adult children, he is slightly more flexible, but not much! He still feels it is baggage from a previous relationship that he doesn't want/need.

I fear he will end up a sad and lonely man, as many women in his age range- late 30s to early 40s- are hoping to produce before they are too old. Hopefully not!

A lot of my friends have said that if the person is right, then the kids don't matter- they are just part of th package, but he won't even speak to anyone with kids. The thing is, you can exclude people like that with internet dating- in real life you might meet someone and get on really well, THEN find out they have kids.

I think: hooray for your relative and well done to him for having the guts and self-awareness to say he doesn't like children, doesn't want any, and doesn't want any kind of step-parent relationship. Lots of people feel the same way: unfortunately some of them cave in under social pressure and end up being lousy parents to kids they resent.

It's also quite a good filtering system for internet dating: if someone completely disgregards a requirement you have stated as important to you then they are obviously a self-obsessed desperate buckethead and it's not worth bothering to date them.

Thanks madam- that's great to hear.

I'll stop giving him such a hard time....lol