I’m sure this has been done a thousand times…
Been together nearly a decade, got married quickly (had known him for a long time), three children quickly… sort of always known I’ve settled (I don’t think we’re best friends nor do we really laugh a lot together) but he swept me off my feet in the beginning and I’ve always felt he’s ‘loved me more then I love him’. I think that’s put him on the back foot from the beginning really, as he is probably aware of that. So I think that’s made him insecure and worried about losing me the whole time. However because of that he’s been quite possessive, jealous and bordering controlling without really intentionally meaning to (I almost feel sorry for him even though I also hate it).
Anyway his sex drive has always been huge with me (not with previous partners). I’ve never had a huge sex drive although we did have sex a lot in the beginning (I think that’s a pattern of mine) but I actually cannot bear the thought of having sex with him now (felt like that for as long as I can remember). I have been honest with him over the years and said “I so wish I felt as strong as attraction as you do” which personally would be enough for me to end something if I was him, but he really just doesn’t want to let me go.
We are starting marriage counselling this week because I’m worried about our arguing affecting the children & I want to try and resolve our differences and issues for their sake & ours. But part of me is worried there is no point if I will never feel that attraction to him. Is it possible to ever get over the Ick?! I’ve said to him I think he could have an amazing sex life with someone else, but he just wants me.
Aside from all that financially we’d both be absolutely screwed if we split…which is why I’m hoping there is someway back from this but am I fooling myself. Thanks for reading xx